A
Drums the heartbeat inside so
One it is, the second missing
Second's gone
Seconds gone
Seconds so
Destroy the hopes
Destroy the path
Destroy the prospects so much longed for -
And down it all
And falling still
And falling into deepest pit
And blackest darkness spreads its wings
And bleakest terror up now risen
Deepest dreams their fright reveal
Dreams deep down the nightmares but
Dreams deep down a primal fear
Dreams deep down now show their facets
Dreems deep down - to hell with them
And let the fire walk between them
Fire now their base to tear
Fire all my soul so shaken
Fire all - and fire red
Red like blood
Burning down, deep down this all
Not preventing deepest fall.
Past it all and not returns it
Past all questions long ago
Past the answers not - how could they
As they simply not exist
All so shaken deeply down here
All so ruptured what once one
All distorted, all's askew
Sight so shaken once anew
All the signs I saw were false
All the hope I carried, lies
All the dreams of future, gone
All the things that seemed once won
Won were just in false a hoping
All interpretations void
Lost it all - again - and fading
Lost the fight, the war, it all
Lost and not returns it ever -
Lost - but where the hell I go?
Where am I going?
Where have I been?
And hope so
Is gone
And not coming back?
So shallow it were?
So sweet just its taste
So lurid its smell
So near seemed its reach
And tight felt its grasp
But now
All so changed
All so altered
All so shaken
Broke
Apart
And not
Comes it back?
Yet hope is resiliant
And not likes to fade
Tremors it sends
Residues remain
Hurting back
Burning deep inside
And nothing then
Prevent it can
And nothing then
Will shut it down
Break it down
Break it!
Broke it,
Been there,
Done that,
Didn't work
Still it lingers
Still it haunts
Still it pounds deep down this all
Still so shaking
Pushing
Driving
Take it back!
Give it back
I can't.
No one
Will take it
Everyone has got enough
That's the problem
Expectations
Won't shut up.
Won't even listen
Won't comply
Won't - or can't?
No, won't.
They're driving nails inside my flesh
Hammering them through and through
Little ones, like needles almost
Smaller just
Can't find them so
To pull them out
Feel them still
And can't remove them -
All so twisted 'round and 'round
All so painfully involved
All the distance here gets lost
All the barriers so have broken
Crushed my soul in this sublime
The climax has fallen down on me
Broke it down
It's broken almost
And no daylight sees me here
Not a spark of sunshine
Not a single ray of sunlight
Not a distant, joyous mate
Structures long ago so broken
Fades the sense with every step
Language here remains my fellow
Words, however, seem to lack -
Not a tiny sense of future -
Not a little fundament -
Nothing now in this can hold -
I fold.
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