POEMS GROUP 25: YOGA

Series 4: Confluences



  1. Sonnet VIII: It Seems That Sadness Beats Out Hope These Days
  2. Poetry in Times of Genocide (8)
  3. Time Stands Still
  4. Peace on Earth (9)
  5. Life as War or Peace (10)
  6. Путин, идиот - Putin, You Idiot (11)
  7. Syllogy L: Qaddish / Sanctus / Bismillah: A Meditation on the Nature of Divinity (Octogenti)
  8. שבעה | Shiva
  9. Father
  10. The Finished Life
  11. Life Goes On
  12. Somehow, Death
  13. My Time Is Running Out
  14. Running on Empty
  15. Sonnet IX: As I Await the Future to Arrive
  16. Sonnet X: Abandon All Hope Now As Sanity's Fleeting
  17. A Victim of My Muse I Am
  18. The Worst Kind of Animal
  19. Life Is A Wake
  20. I Needed to Ask the Bard About the Finality of Death



What's Related
Subsequent: Poems
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Phil John Kneis:

योग (YOGA) - CONFLUENCES I:

SONNET VIII
IT SEEMS THAT SADNESS BEATS OUT HOPE THESE DAYS


Corvallis, November 18th, 2022 - P#794



it seems that sadness beats out hope these days
these days with heaviness and suffering filled
when all the slightest sparks of joy are killed
and days slouch by in dull and foggy haze

now blessed are those with memories more bright
when even future hopes believed insane
and hopeful dreams are thought to be in vain
in deepest darkness need we find the light

for though we need to face what's real, not fake,
if hopeless we, there's nothing we can do
but do we must what's needed for us all

just as before, from nightmares we shall wake
and find the heart to make the world anew
and find new life in what was doomed to fall






November 18th/20th, 2022









Phil John Kneis:

योग (YOGA) - CONFLUENCES II:

POETRY IN TIMES OF GENOCIDE

(DODECALOGY, PART EIGHT OF TWELVE)

Corvallis, December 24th, 2022 - P#795


should poetry be written still
in times of greatest tragedy
brutality
mendacity
and anti-life?


if not now, when?


write poems I
for beauty's sake?
is this a pleasure merely, play?

are we alive just to exist?
is there a purpose to this all?
and if existence is at threat,
what do we cling to,
how can we be?

if this existence 's just bare life,
a clinging on to misery,
then surely, we ain't truly lived:
for life is more
than mere survival

do live we
for what?
don't live we
for what we leave behind?
and if what's left
can tell the tale
of how to live in tragedy:
and how to witness, how to tell
what life can be, what say we must,
how could we ever silent stay?

for life is the purpose
of all we do
both here in the now
and in the eternal:

let poets write
and singers sing
and pictures taken
films be made
and sculptures built
all art be done
and athletes compete
and stories be told:

for poetry
is making
is creating
is carving sense
out of senselessness
life
out of lifelessness
survivance
out of genocide
and triumph
out of tragedy
and this
cannot cease:

for what we know of life
is the stories of old
for what we'll know of life
is the stories of now as well:

and all we do as art
is the difference
between death and bare life:

let life not be bare
and death be transcended
and tragedy be overcome
by the poetry,
the making sense of life,
that we offer
for all






December 24th/28th, 2022









Phil John Kneis:

योग (YOGA) - CONFLUENCES III:

TIME STANDS STILL
Corvallis, December 25th, 2022 - P#796


time stands still
at the turning of the years
time stands still
as we try to here make sense
time stands still
as we contemplate its end

this end of time
is just an artifact of measurement
an ancient way
since Babylonian times (or older)
to bring our human-made distinctions
back into reality
and then attempt
to take some rest
between these artificial years

so let us now
as time stands still
or runs much slower
take a breath
and some perspective
if we can

let time stand still
and then
just take in
the world around us,
within and without us
and all in-betweens
we have been ignoring
kept hidden
or lost

so now
let us find then
connection again
not just with ourselves
but time
itself






December 25th/28th, 2022









Phil John Kneis:

योग (YOGA) - CONFLUENCES IV:

PEACE ON EARTH

(DODECALOGY, PART NINE OF TWELVE)

Corvallis, December 26th, 2022 - P#797


peace on Earth
to all humans
of good will
and probably also
to those of ill -
that's quite a utopia we're aiming for here:
a hope, nothing more,
a dream, unachieved,
and maybe, unreachable:
and yet, we keep trying:
and why, pray tell, not?






December 26th/28th, 2022









Phil John Kneis:

योग (YOGA) - CONFLUENCES V:

LIFE AS WAR OR PEACE

(DODECALOGY, PART TEN OF TWELVE)

Corvallis, December 27th, 2022 - P#798


life is war
life is struggle
just in order to maintain my sanity
need I fight
need I suffer
yet relief is not a given:
live we all quite on the edge
these days
this day
dies illa
when earth and heavens are in turmoil
quando caeli movendi sunt et terra
this day
this awful day
in die illa tremenda
when the world is standing in flames
solvet saeclum in favilla
this day
of all

these days
it's getting more and more difficult
to not feel
some form of conflict
within
a deepening
darkening
frustration
with the world
dare of wrath I speak?
is this now
what we've descended to?
a day of wrath
this day
dies illa
dies irae

shall this be?
should it be?

thus agonize I endless hours
spend my days
in saddest desperation
on this day
this day of tears
lacrimosa dies illa
as I'm waiting for my rest
just to catch myself
and see:
if life is war
I need my friends
to comfort me
as they need me
to comfort them
provide some clarity
of purpose
some understanding
of victory:

so that
instead of wrath
I desire to enter paradise
after all
with the angels
not the demons
and I desire
to build it here
already
within my heart
within my soul
within this little space
on Earth:

so that this day
does not bring wrath
does not bring more war
but a little bit of peace
within what is possible:
and the wars we have to fight
shall they be fought
to live life in peace
eventually

so that instead of the darkness
light may shine
eternally
for us and them
et lux perpetua luceat nobis et eis
dies illa
dies pacis:

on this here day
this day of peace






December 27th/28th, 2022









Phil John Kneis:

योग (YOGA) - CONFLUENCES VI:

ПУТИН, ИДИОТ
(PUTIN, YOU IDIOT)

(DODECALOGY, PART ELEVEN OF TWELVE)

Corvallis, December 22nd-28th, 2022 - P#799




Путин, идиот,
когда сам идёт,
когда прочь идёш?

ты
преступник
и надзиратель за преступниками:
твои приказы - твои дела:
убийца, насильник, поджигатель, мучитель,
мелкий воришка и только бандит,
убийца Чечни, Сирии, Грузии, Украины,
угнетатель русских, белорусов и других народов,
реабилитолог Сталина,
головорез КГБ,
воскреситель темницы народов,
воскреситель гулага,
воскреситель стукачества,
воскреситель фашизма,
разрушитель гласности,
разрушитель перестройки,
разрушитель демократии,
разрушитель справедливости
разрушитель мира,
уличный хулиган,
лжец и детоубийца,
тебе не стыдно?


ты похититель фьючерсов
развратитель людей
как ты распространяешь коррупцию
разрушитель экономики
исказитель истории
как ты восхваляешь преступные цари
как ты восхваляешь преступный СССР
ты токсичный мечтатель
когда едешь с голым торсом по тайге
золотая орда одного
твои русские
и твои предполагаемые братья
вообще не важно для тебя
когда ты возвращаешься в мир
образ русских
как варвары
еще раз

разрушитель надежды
разрушитель мечты
твоя мечта
Путин
мечта о крови
мечта о земле
мечта о мужественности
мечта о судьбе
мы видели это раньше
и не надо этого дерьма
когда-либо снова:
ты копейки гитлер
с ядерным оружием
угрожает взорвать планету
в твоей истерике
неумелость:
но планета хочет, чтобы ты ушел
уйти с тобой

твои жертвы проклинают тебя,
твои враги смеются над тобой,
несчастный дурак,
жалкий трус,
твоя полусвастика "Z",
предатель героев
Великой Отечественной войны,
ты проклят

человечек с идиотской ухмылкой
и лживый язык,
попросите кого-нибудь показать тебе ближайшее окно,
и пусть это будет скоро

более того, думаю что
Карфаген должен быть разрушен










ENGLISH VERSION:




Putin, you idiot,
when does he go himself
when do you go away?

you
criminal
and overseer of criminals:
your orders - your deeds:
murderer, rapist, arsonist, torturer,
petty thief and only a bandit,
murderer of Chechnya, Syria, Georgia, Ukraine,
oppressor of Russians, Belarusians and other peoples,
rehabilitator of Stalin,
KGB thug,
resurrector of the prison house of nations,
resurrector of gulags,
resurrector of snitching,
resurrector of fascism,
destroyer of glasnost,
destroyer of perestroyka,
destroyer of democracy,
destroyer of justice,
destroyer of peace
a street hooligan,
a liar and a murderer of children,
are you not ashamed?

you stealer of futures
corrupter of people
as you spread corruption
destroyer of economy
distorter of history
as you eulogize the criminal czars
as you eulogize the criminal USSR
you toxic dreamer
as you ride bare-chested through the taiga
a golden horde of one
your Russians
your alleged brothers
mean nothing to you
as you are returning to the world
the image of Russians
as barbarians
again

destroyer of hopes
destroyer of dreams
your dream
Putin
a dream of blood
a dream of soil
a dream of manhood
a dream of fate
we've seen it before
and do not need this shit
ever again:
you dime-store Hitler
with nukes
threatening to blow up the planet
in your tantrum
of ineptitude:
yet the planet wants you gone
be gone with you

your victims curse you,
your enemies laugh at you,
miserable fool,
miserable coward,
your half-swastika "Z",
betrayer of the heroes
of the Great Patriotic War,
you are damned

little man with an idiotic grin
and a deceitful tongue,
ask someone to show you the nearest window,
and let it be soon

ceterum censeo
Carthaginem esse delendam






December 28th, 2022









Phil John Kneis:

योग (YOGA) - CONFLUENCES VII:

SYLLOGY L:



Corvallis, December 31st, 2022-... - P#800




in lieu of an introduction:
ε«|»α #225: Religion, Transcendence & Nature





EXPOSITION:


PRELUDE: THE ONE
BERESHIT: IN THE BEGINNING
PARS PRIMA: QADDISH
INTERLVDIVM PRIMVM
PARS SECVNDA: SANCTVS
INTERLVDIVM SECVNDVM
PARS TERTIA: BISMILLAH
TELOS: THE END











PRELUDE  :  THE ONE




 
xay.k nfr m Axt nt pt
 
You rise beautiful from the horizon on heaven,

 
pA itn anx SAa anx
 
O Aten, living disk, origin of life.

 
iw.k wbn.ti m Axt
 
You are arisen from the horizon,

 
mH.n.k tA nb m nfrw.k
 
you have filled every land with your beauty.

 
iw.k an.ti wr.ti THn.ti qA.ti Hr-tp tA nb
 
You are fine, great, radiant, lofty over and above every land.

 
stwt.k inH.sn tAw r r-a irt.n.k nb
 
Your rays bind the lands to the limit of all you have made,

 
iw.k m ra in.k r r-a.sn
 
you are as Re, the sun, you have reached their limits.

 
waf.k sn (n) sA-mr.k
 
You bind them (for) your beloved son.

 
iw.k wA.ti stwt.k Hr tA
 
You are distant, but your rays are on earth,

 
tw.k m Hr.sn nw Smw.k
 
You are in their sight, but your movements are hidden.

 

aSA.wy siry.k iw.w StAw m Hr

 

How numerous are your works, though hidden from sight.

 
pA nTr wa nn ky Hr-xw.f
 
Unique god, there is none beside him.

(Great Hymn of the Aten; 2-3; 7-8)



of all the goddesses and gods,
a pantheon of entities and demons,
of powers, principalities, dominions celestial,
of heroes, demigods, and kings become gods,
what distinguishes all these
from us mere mortals,
mere creations?

what power lies there
within this strangest pantheon of divinities,
if reflected it all
in nature
herself?

See I the sun, do see a god or goddess I?
See I the moon, do see a god or goddess I?
See I the Earth, do see a god or goddess I?

Whence cometh thunder, rain or warmth?
Whence cometh darkness, whence does light?
Are not the powers that we see
a mere reflection
of the universe itself?

Is not divinity
that which transcends us all?

How could attribute we
this transcendental power
to all these different entities and beings?

What gives us life? What gives us death?

What is it that we feel around, within, beyond us so?

A living thing, this world, this all,
this universe, these universes all:
and us, mere mortals,
claim to understand it all?

so let us see
the one
behind the many
the one source
behind all the appearances
the one
within
the one
without
the one
beyond life and death
the idea
behind all ideas
the form
behind all forms:

see we the shape
the mere disk of the sun:
and see we
what we can see
with our own eyes:
see we the sun
surrounded by planets
as our science has shown;
see we all our sun's planetary children
surrounded by others
in the galaxy;
see we our galaxy
within galaxies
in the universe;
and maybe, we'll see
this universe
in a universe of universes:

the very greatness
the very grandeur
the very scope
of this all:

are tiny we
and yet, we matter:
for that which reigns beyond us
has given us life
has given us form
has given us meaning
beyond meaning:

and as this holiness of holies
this transcendental sense of being
envelops us all
in our most triumphant days
in our darkest, most starkest nights:
mere parts we are
of this grander scheme
and seeing it all
connected
related
quite intimately so:
then what is death
but merely a bridge
to more life?

and as we see
the holiness around us,
shall see we also
the holiness inside of us:
this sanctity of sanctities,
this holiest of holies,
this unity
between mortality and infinity:
as we are one
and we are all

this holy father,
this holy mother,
this holy creator,
this holy sustainer,
this holy maintainer
this holy connection
between all that exists:

submit we now
to the mystery
around us all:
as it has submitted to us
and given us life
so that we may cherish it
in us and in all











בְּרֵאשִׁית  |  IN THE BEGINNING




بِسْمِ ٱللَّٰهِ
 
Bismillah
 
in the name of God
ٱلرَّحْمَٰنِ
 
ir-Rahman
 
the Most Gracious

ٱلرَّحِيمِ
 
ir-Rahim
 
the Most Merciful


(Basmala)



that one
which cannot be named
which cannot be seen
which cannot be heard
which cannot be shown
which cannot be painted
which cannot be quite understood:

that one
not even a person
not even a being
but being itself:
not even alive
but life itself:
that one
we seek
that one
we call
that one
we praise

the one
the real
the idea
the Holy one

that
which cannot be defined
which cannot be delimited
which resists all definition
which has no limits

that
which dwarfs us
makes us realize
our smallness
our limits
our finality

that
which is being
before being
time
before time
real
before reality

that
which was in the beginning
which is in the now
will be in the end

the end of all
the essence of all
the beginning of all

this one
and only
in which
and through which
and for which
we live:

the one
the principle
of grace
the principle
of mercy

this
which just is
its own beginning
and its own purpose, end:
beyond our expectations
of good and of evil
bow we now
in the presence
and spirit
and essence
of life:

so that we may share in it
that we may honor it
and be absolved in it
in the end of our days











PARS PRIMA: קַדִּישׁ  |  QADDISH




שְׁמַע יִשְׂרָאֵל
 
Sh'ma Yisrael
 
Hear, O Israel:

יְהוָה אֱלֹהֵינוּ יְהוָה אֶחָד
 
Adonai Eloheinu Adonai Ehad
 
the Lord is our God, the Lord is One





א: יִתְגַּדַּל | I: SANCTIFIED  ·  ב: בְּעָלְמָא | II: CREATOR  ·  ג: בְּחַיֵּיכוֹן | III: LIFETIME  ·  ד: יְהֵא שְׁמֵהּ | IV: BLESSED  ·  ה: תִּתְקַבַּל | V: PRAYERS  ·  ו: עַל יִשְׂרָאֵל | VI: DISCIPLES  ·  ז: יְהֵא לְהוֹן | VII: COMPASSION  ·  ח: שָׁלוֹם עוֹשֶֹה | VIII: PEACE





א: יִתְגַּדַּל  |  I: SANCTIFIED



יִתְגַּדַּל וְיִתְקַדַּשׁ שְׁמֵהּ רַבָּא
 
Yitgaddal veyitqaddash shmeh rabba
 
Exalted and sanctified be His great name


(Kaddish, Line 1)



/

the one
who is

life
itself

//

not an outsized human on a throne
neither on the earth
nor in the sky
nor on a mountaintop
or in caverns below
nor skulking away in animal form
no superstition
nor strangest magic

no attributes
no human desires
nothing
that is like us

the one
or simply that
before the beginning
before
anything
and anyone

what name
or pronoun even
could possibly convey
such a concept?

and should you desire
to make an image
of the-one-who-is:
you still
have not understood
that there cannot be an image
there cannot be a comprehension
of what even an idea
for such an image
could be:

and you
and we
cannot name
what cannot be named:

for if we could name a thing
we could understand
we could categorize
stereotypize
develop connections
develop abstractions
develop assumptions
that shall not be assumed
that shall not be abstracted
that shall not be connected:
and the stereo-typical view
(the one we may tolerate children to have)
(but only then)
(if at all)
(but what do we know)
(if know we can at all):
the simplistic view
should not be the one
persisting into adulthood:

yet our will to understand
is a will, in the end, for nothing else
but power
and might
and control:
our will to power,
our will to name:
for what we can name
and what we can picture
we can control,
or so some believe:

for we are able to name all nature
we are able to name all animals and plants
all human things
all rocks and waterways and mountains high
all stars and planets and moons we may see
for all of that
is a given
in the creation
in the beginning
when the-one-that-is began to create
our little world

when the eternal
created mortality
when that which always is
created that which is only for a limited time
when out of eternity
came limitation:
so that in limitation
we may strive for eternity
in the little time
we have:

this limited time
on this little world:

but of others
we know not
(yet)
(but we shall?)

///

there may be universes there
beyond our own
and for all I know
there's a red wheelbarrow
floating somewhere
in its own universe
as a divine gift to William Carlos Williams
and next door,
we might actually take
Trout Fishing in America to an actual fishing site
if Mr. Brautigan will allow it to sit
next to Douglas Adam's number 42

but none of that would happen
without the initial act
of creation
of beginning
with a telos, a view to an end,
a purpose,
a destiny:

or maybe,
there never needed to be a beginning
as energy is never created, only transformed,
and then,
we are pondering
that which is
as a telos in itself,
a beginning without a beginning:

pondering all this,
how could we not
exalt
all that is
even if it means
that we could not even think of a name
nor of controlling
that which is:

the eternal
needs no name comprehensible to us:
that which is
needs no further name
than to embrace all that is:
the pleasure and pain all
all existence and non-existence
all your dreams, hopes, and faintest desires
projected
as prayers
onto life itself:
for a prayer
is an attempt to reach out
to the unreachable
to trust
in the universe itself:
and to realize
the magnitude
of our predicament:

// //

in all our smallness
we come from greatness
and carry it
within:

in all our limitations
we carry the essence
of the eternal
within:

in all our pain, our loss, our suffering,
there too, is joy, is hope, underneath
pointing
to the simple glory of mere existence:

thus exalt we again
what should be exalted,
thus sanctify we
what is already holy,
thus praise we a name
that is just mere approximation:

for without this recognition,
this acceptance,
this sense of humility,
it would be much harder
to live this life

for we are not God
and once we see this,
once only we see this,
only then
can we fully value life
in all its limitations
situated within the eternal
and life itself:

and death
is the gift
creating meaning
for us all
in our valley of tears,
our mountain of joys



ב: בְּעָלְמָא  |  II: CREATOR



בְּעָלְמָא דִּי בְרָא כִרְעוּתֵהּ
 
Beʻalma di vra khir'uteh
 
In the world which He created according to His will

וְיַמְלִיךְ מַלְכוּתֵהּ

 
Veyamlikh malkhuteh
 
May He establish His kingdom

בְּעָלְמָא דְהוּא עָתִיד לְאִתְחַדָּתָא

 
B'ʻal'ma d'hu ʻatid l'ithaddata
 
In the world which will be renewed

וּלְאַחֲיָאָה מֵתַיָא

 
Ulʼaḥaya metaya
 
And where He will give life to the dead

וּלְאַסָּקָא יָתְהוֹן לְחַיֵּי עָלְמָא

 
Ulʼassaqa yathon l'ḥayye ʻal'ma
 
And raise them to eternal life

וּלְמִבְנֵא קַרְתָּא דִירוּשְׁלֵם

 
Ul'mivne qarta dirush'lem
 
And rebuild the city of Jerusalem

וּלְשַׁכְלָלָא הֵיכְלֵהּ בְּגַוַּהּ

 
Uleshakhlala hekhlehh b'gavvah
 
And complete His temple there

וּלְמֶעְקַר פֻּלְחָנָא נֻכְרָאָה מְאַרְעָא

 
Ulmeʻqar pulḥana nukhraʼa m'arʻa
 
And uproot foreign worship from the earth

וּלַאֲתָבָא פֻּלְחָנָא דִשְׁמַיָּא לְאַתְרֵהּ

 
Ulaʼatava pulḥana dishmayya l'ʼatreh
 
And restore Heavenly worship to its position

וְיַמְלִיךְ קֻדְשָׁא בְּרִיךְ הוּא

 
V'yamlikh qudsha b'rikh hu
 
And may the Holy One, blessed is He,

בְּמַלְכוּתֵהּ וִיקָרֵהּ

 
B'malkhuteh viqareh
 
Reign in His sovereign splendor

וְיַצְמַח פֻּרְקָנֵהּ וִיקָרֵב(קיץ) מְשִׁיחֵהּ

 
Veyatzmaḥ purqaneh viqarev (qetz) meshiḥeh
 
And may His salvation blossom and His anointed be near

(Kaddish, Lines 2-3, Burial Kaddish: 37-45, 4)



/

powers, principalities, thrones and dominions
all will rise, all will fall
nothing stays
and all's in flux:
for those
are earthly things
and everything
is transient

//

we may have desires
of worldly aims
and worldly needs
that are required
in the here and now:

but in the hereafter
in the beyond
in the eternal
may well be the only place
where needs are met
and wishes come true
and justice may reign
supreme

as much as we wish it,
there may be no justice,
there may be no peace,
there may be no truth,
there may be no love
in this, our lifetime,
in spite of all hopes
in spite of all dreams
in spite of all prayers:

and yet
we shall believe
in the idea of justice
in the idea of peace
in the idea of truth
in the idea of love:

we may not have anything
we may not be anything
and may not change anything
for power
is elusive
and we certainly
may lack it:

but we must have hope
as we can always create hope:
we must have faith
as we can always create faith:
we must have charity
as we can always create charity:
for these
are the things in our heart
and these
are within our control:
and these
can be re-created by us:
for these
are the gifts
of the Eternal

thus in the darkest valleys of despair
we must not give in
and we must cherish the life
we are given
and cherish the lives
of those all around us
and keep but close
those who have died
within our hearts
to eventually accompany us
to the heavenly Jerusalem,
the place of peace
and holiness

///

and thus we live
and thus we die
and thus we witness
in the presence of the Eternal
all around us:

and as the Eternal is holy
this holiness
is transferred to us
given to us
and we are anointed
by the Eternal
for all eternity to come,
time without end



ג: בְּחַיֵּיכוֹן  |  III: LIFETIME



בְּחַיֵּיכוֹן וּבְיוֹמֵיכוֹן
 
Beḥayeikhon uvyomeikhon
 
During your lifetime and during your days

וּבְחַיֵּי דְכָל (בֵּית) יִשְׂרָאֵל

 
Uvḥaye dekhol (bet) yisrael
 
And during the lifetimes of all the House of Israel,

בַּעֲגָלָא וּבִזְמַן קָרִיב. וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן

 
Baʻagala uvizman qariv veʼimru amen
 
Speedily and very soon! And say, Amen.

(Kaddish, Lines 5-7)



wish we now
all those blessings to happen
during our lifetime
and all our days:

but we need not wait
we need to seek out
whether something special is happening:

our own holiness
as given to us by the Eternal,
guide us it will
and make present in us
all that is true, all that is good, all that is just:
if we let it

thus holy, holy, holy is the Eternal,
is life itself,
but blessed are we
if live we in its presence and name
thus confirm we shall this: Amen



ד: יְהֵא שְׁמֵהּ  |  IV: BLESSED



יְהֵא שְׁמֵהּ רַבָּא מְבָרַךְ
 
Yehei shmeih rabba mevorakh
 
May His great name be blessed

לְעָלַם וּלְעָלְמֵי עָלְמַיָּא

 
Leʻalam ulʻalme ʻalmaya
 
For ever, and to all eternity!

יִתְבָּרַךְ וְיִשְׁתַּבַּח וְיִתְפָּאַר וְיִתְרוֹמַם

 
Yitbarakh veyishtabbaḥ veyitpa'ar veyitromam
 
Blessed and praised, glorified and exalted,

וְיִתְנַשֵּׂא וְיִתְהַדָּר וְיִתְעַלֶּה וְיִתְהַלָּל

 
Veyitnasse veyithaddar veyitʻalleh veyithallal
 
Extolled and honoured, adored and lauded

שְׁמֵהּ דְקֻדְשָׁא בְּרִיךְ הוּא.

 
Shmeh dequdsha berikh hu
 
Be the name of the Holy One, blessed be He,

לְעֵלָּא (לְעֵלָּא מִכָּל) מִן כָּל בִּרְכָתָא

 
Leʻella (lʻella mikkol) min kol birkhata
 
Above and beyond all the blessings,

וְשִׁירָתָא תֻּשְׁבְּחָתָא וְנֶחֱמָתָא

 
Veshirata tushbeḥata veneḥemata
 
Hymns, praises and consolations

דַּאֲמִירָן בְּעָלְמָא. וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן

 
Da'amiran beʻalma veʼimru amen
 
That are uttered in the world! And say, Amen.

(Kaddish, Lines 8-15)



the one that is
the one that was
the one that will be
the name
unlike other names
a clear indication
that all those other gods
(who all have names
who we have named
who we can know)
are not
and cannot be
like the one that is
the one that is life
the one that is eternal
the Lord of Lords
who exceeds
our understanding

for that
which is eternal
exceeds the mere temporal

and that
which is all-knowing
exceeds the ignorant

just as
the creative force
exceeds creation itself

we may have 99 names
but no limit can be put
on eternity

as the idea of the divine
becomes more important
than all those little gods
of times now past,
seek we not
to please
a human-made lord
but the Lord of Lords
the Adonai:
El
Elohim
Allah:
the God of Gods
transcending all names
transcending
the need for a name:
and all the attributes
merely aid us
in understanding
an inkling merely
of what constitutes,
in the end,
in the beginning,
eternity
and life



ה: תִּתְקַבַּל  |  V: PRAYERS



תִּתְקַבַּל צְלוֹתְהוֹן וּבָעוּתְהוֹן
 
Titqabbal tzelotehon uvaʻutehon
 
May the prayers and supplications

דְכָל (בֵּית) יִשְׂרָאֵל

 
D'khol (bet) yisrael
 
Of all Israel

קֳדָם אֲבוּהוֹן דִּי בִשְׁמַיָּא וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן

 
Qodam avuhon di bishmayya, vʼimru amen
 
Be accepted by their Father who is in Heaven; And say, Amen.

(Kaddish, Lines 16-18)



we ask the most gracious, most merciful
the one who guides us, loves us, teaches us,
the one who knows us
as we do not know our selves:

and in this our spirit
of not-knowing,
of our awareness
of need,
desires,
and of imperfection,
now turn we
in our humility
to that which is greater
to see:

there is something
greater than us
greater than every living, dying thing:
and all our hopes, dreams, desires,
all our ambitions,
all our workings,
all our scheming, achieving, and building,
comes it to naught
one day,
this day of days
when earth and heavens are moved
by our mortality:
we are not gods
we are mere mortals
with limited insight
limited knowledge
limited wisdom
limited power
limited life:
and yet,
we like to pretend
that we are more than that
and that this little spark of divinity
somehow
transcends us
to be more than we are:

and yet,
only with humility
can truly we see
and truly we live:

for in order to live,
need we to strive
towards that which is highest:
and put our minds
and put our souls
to truly see
that from the realization of our limitations
can truly we see
the greatness of divinity:

we can only pray
in this way:
no "quid pro quo,"
no "do ut des,"
for we cannot wager
with the divine

and thus we pray
in the realization
of our smallness
and our connectedness
with everyone else:

for have we not empathy,
have we not love
for all but around us,
how could we even believe
to understand
the divinity
of love?
the divinity
of grace?
the divinity
of mercy?

and thus,
more important than our own prayer
is our awareness of the prayers of others:
more important than our own needs
is our awareness of the needs of others:
and more important than our own self
is our awareness of the connection of all
within the divine



ו: עַל יִשְׂרָאֵל  |  VI: DISCIPLES



עַל יִשְׂרָאֵל וְעַל רַבָּנָן וְעַל תַּלְמִידֵיהוֹן
 
ʻal yisrael veʻal rabbanan veʻal talmideihon
 
To Israel, to the Rabbis and their disciples

וְעַל כָּל תַּלְמִידֵי תַלְמִידֵיהוֹן

 
V'ʻal kol talmidei talmideihon
 
To the disciples of their disciples,

וְעַל כָּל מָאן דְּעָסְקִין בְּאוֹרַיְתָא

 
Veʻal kol man deʻos'qin b'orayta
 
And to all those who engage in the study of the Torah

דִּי בְאַתְרָא (קַדִישָא) הָדֵין וְדִי בְּכָל אֲתַר וַאֲתַר

 
Di b'atra (qadisha) haden vedi bekhol atar v'atar
 
In this (holy) place or in any other place,

(Kaddish, Lines 19-22)



faith should not be blind
belief should not be childish:
only from knowledge
only from concrete devotion to study
can come some awareness
of the one that is:

need be we disciples,
need be we but students,
need we
to be on a mission
to study, to learn, and to strive:
and be humble:

for if you think you know,
you don't
and if you believe you know,
all you demonstrate
is arrogance
in ignorance:

seekers
we need to be:
never certain,
never finished,
never too sure
about what we think we may know:

divinity
then
is not about answers,
but about questions,
not about faith
but about learning,
not about certainty
but the experience of life
itself



ז: יְהֵא לְהוֹן  |  VII: COMPASSION



יְהֵא לְהוֹן וּלְכוֹן שְׁלָמָא רַבָּא
 
Y'hei lehon ul'khon sh'lama rabba
 
May there come abundant peace

חִנָּא וְחִסְדָּא וְרַחֲמֵי וְחַיֵּי אֲרִיכֵי

 
Hinna v'ḥisda v'raḥamei v'ḥayyei arikhei
 
Grace, loving kindness and compassion, long life

וּמְזוֹנֵי רְוִיחֵי וּפוְּרְקָנָא

 
Um'zone r'viḥe ufurqana
 
Ample sustenance and salvation

מִן קֳדָם אֲבוּהוּן דְבִשְׁמַיָּא (וְאַרְעָא)

 
Min qodam avuhon di vishmayya (v'ʼarʻa)
 
From the Father who is in heaven (and earth);

וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן

 
V'ʼimru amen
 
And say, Amen.

יְהֵא שְׁלָמָה רַבָּא מִן שְׁמַיָּא

 
Yehe shelama rabba min shemayya
 
May there be abundant peace from heaven,

(וְ) (טוֹבִים) חַיִּים

 
(Ve)hayyim (tovim)
 
(And) (good) life

וְשָֹבָע וִישׁוּעָה וְנֶחָמָה וְשֵׁיזָבָה

 
Vesava vishuʻa veneḥama veshezava
 
Satisfaction, help, comfort, refuge,

וּרְפוּאָה וּגְאֻלָּה וּסְלִיחָה וְכַפָּרָה

 
Urfuʼa ugʼulla usliha v'khappara
 
Healing, redemption, forgiveness, atonement,

וְרֵוַח וְהַצָּלָה

 
Verevaḥ vehatzala
 
Relief and salvation

(לָנוּ וּלְכָל עַמּוֹ) עׇלֵינוּ וְעַל כׇּל יִשְֹרָאֵל וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן

 
(Lanu ulkhol ʻammo) ʻalainu v'al kol yisrael v'ʼimru amen
 
(For us and for all his people) upon us and upon all Israel; and say, Amen.

(Kaddish, Lines 23-33)



/

dream we of lives
lived in harmony and peace
for our fullest enjoyment
of all
which life
and the universe
have to offer:
and yet:
it's not quite guaranteed
nor are you ever prepared
for your world
to be tumbling down
falling
ever wider
falling into the abyss
of human a making
Cain and Abel,
Romulus, Remus,
us humans, we're quite the warring bunch

you seek here
grace
loving kindness
and compassion
even a long life
a good life
salvation even
from a child-like invention
of a gentle father in the sky
or a loving mother in her gentle embrace:

//

indeed, children we are
impatient children
daring to know, to discover the world -
and yet, our discovery
has led us out of the Garden,
out of the harmony
with all that is
and ever shall be:

grown up we have
and arrogant
we have become:
as believe we
that we know
and can know
all there is:
and once we know everything
just like a god we will be
and in our peace
we'll be remaking the world
and the universe:

///

we should indeed dream
we should indeed hope
we should indeed build:

and yet
in our desire
to remake the world
we cannot be at war
with the world
we cannot be at war
with the universe
we cannot be at war
with whatever god is:

// //

the ideal of peace
the ideal of love
the ideal of hope
the ideal of life
and the source of it all:

this
we must not forget
and must not abandon

even in our darkest moments
in our deepest despair
our harshest suffering
and world-ending pain,
we must not forget:

we must not forget
that we are one
we must not forget
that we all are together
we must not forget
that the universe
is in all of us
that we cannot wage war
against ourselves
and hope to be building
the best of all worlds

whatever god is
is a reminder
and ideal
a path
that keeps us tied to paradise
even if in the desert we're stuck



ח: שָׁלוֹם עוֹשֶֹה  |  VIII: PEACE



עוֹשֶֹה שָׁלוֹם בִּמְרוֹמָיו
 
ʻoseh shalom bimromav
 
May He who makes peace in His high places

הוּא (בְּרַחֲמָיו) יַעֲשֶֹה שָׁלוֹם עָלֵינוּ

 
Hu (berakhamav) yaʻase shalom ʻalenu
 
Grant (in his mercy) peace upon us

וְעַל כָּל (עַמּוֹ) יִשְֹרָאֵל וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן

 
V'ʻal kol (ammo) yisra'el, v'ʼimru amen
 
And upon all (his nation) Israel; and say, Amen.

(Kaddish, Lines 34-36)



peace we want
and peace we need
and yet
so difficult to find it is,
so difficult sometimes
to know
what is the calmness of a life lived in peace
what is simply the calmness of a cemetery

I would like to live in peace
but without justice, how can there be peace?
without compassion, how can there be peace?
without recognition, how can there be peace?

we need to recognize
each other
as our selves:
and realize
we need to be at peace
with ourselves
at peace
with each other
at peace
with the universe
at peace
with the eternal:

and we need to stand against
the enemies of peace
the brutes
the murderers
the genociders
the givers of orders
the poisoners of minds
of souls
and of hearts:

the sanctity of life
cannot abide
violation:
and peace
is the opposite of violation:
the defense
of sanctity
the defense
of life
the defense
of eternity,
of divinity,
of God

we may ask God for peace
if that helps us collect our thoughts
but the work
will be up to us
the work
will have to be
quite own our doing
the work
will be
unending

thus peace everlasting
is work everlasting
to make it, protect it, and live it:

in principle, around us, within our selves:
and "peace be with you"
becomes "God be with you",
pax vobis
שלום עליכם | shalom aleichem
السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ | As-salamu alaykum
it all means the same,

so say we all:
Amen – آمينאָמֵן











INTERLVDIVM PRIMVM


we think we know
we think we control
we think that our lives
and those of our loved ones
will flow
as we'd like them to flow:

thus live we lives
too much in strangest a conviction
that life goes on
that all 'll be well
and that we matter
in this world
of ours:

and yet
this is not our world
these may well be our lives
and yet
like pawns in a game
on an unknown board
with unknown rules
we move
till we cannot
any more

we can enjoy life
and certainly should:
for what else is there for us to know:

where we came from? immaterial
where we are going? dust, hopes and dreams
where we are now: our time to live

and live we
from beginning to end
but how and when we begin
is not chosen by us
and whether at our end, we've achieved our story
we can only hope
we can only strive:

through hope and strife,
despair and salvation,
we amble,
we try,
we attempt,
all too erratically,
to make this world
remember us somehow,
to let our voice
be heard a bit longer,
to have our face
be seen
to have our soul
be known
to have our life
brought meaning
to us
and those around us

so that we, also,
can grasp a bit of immortality
from death's kind cruelty:
as grasp we, finally,
the impossibility
of such a task:
and hopefully,
we'll do so
in peace
eternal











PARS SECVNDA: SANCTVS  |  HOLY




Κύριε, ἐλέησον
 
Kyrie eleison,
 
Lord, have mercy
Χριστέ, ἐλέησον
 
Christe eleison,
 
Christ, have mercy
Κύριε, ἐλέησον
 
Kyrie eleison
 
Lord, have mercy




I. REQVIEM ÆTERNAM  ·  II: DIES IRÆ  ·  III: ELI, ELI, LAMA AZAVTANI  ·  IV: AVE MARIA  ·  V: PIE IESU  ·  VI: SANCTVS PATER NOSTER  ·  VII: AGNVS DEI  ·  VIII: LIBERA ME




I. REQVIEM ÆTERNAM  |  ETERNAL REST



Requiem æternam dona eis, Domine:
 
Eternal rest provide them, O Adonai:
et lux perpetua luceat eis.
 
and may perpetual light shine for them:
Te decet hymnus, Deus, in Sion,
 
A song may be song to you, God, in Zion,
et tibi reddetur votum in Ierusalem:
 
and a vow fulfilled for you in Jerusalem:
exaudi orationem meam,
 
hear out my prayer,
ad te omnis caro veniet.

 
to you, all flesh will go:

Absolve, Domine,
 
Absolve, O Adonai,
animas omnium fidelium defunctorum
 
the souls of all those departed in faith
ab omni vinculo delictorum.
 
from every failure that held them back.
Et gratia tua illis succurrente,
 
And thanks to your helping grace for them,
mereantur evadere iudicium ultionis.
 
they deserve to evade the final judgement.
Et lucis æternae beatitudine perfrui.
 
And the beauty of eternal light they may enjoy.

(Requiem: Introitus & Tractus)



whatever your life has been
no matter your beginning
no matter your path
the destination - our destination -
is always the same
at the end of our days,
awaits us the end,
shall come we to rest
everlasting:

with hopes though, maybe,
that maybe, just maybe,
or hopefully, expectantly,
that this shall not be an end
but another beginning

we know
deep down
that faith
is not knowledge
that belief
can't guarantee fact

and yet
do we hope
do we pray
do we assume
and based on this assumption
await we
that nothing here
will have been in vain
that remembered we'll be
and finally see
a sense
a meaning
a belonging
which this world
so frequently is hiding from us

eternal rest, not eternal pain
eternal grace, not eternal cruelty
eternal trust, not eternal fear
eternal hope, not eternal despair
eternal love, not eternal indifference
eternal joy, not eternal agony
eternal belonging, not eternal distance
eternal home, not eternal exile
eternal peace, not eternal war
eternal life, not eternal death



II. DIES IRÆ  |  DAY OF WRATH



Dies iræ, dies illa,
 
Day of ire, this day,
Solvet sæclum in favilla:
 
When he world falls into ashes:
Teste David cum Sibylla.
 
As testified by David with Sibyl.

Liber scriptus proferetur,
 
A book of writing is brought fourth
In quo totum continetur,
 
Containing everything
Unde mundus iudicetur.
 
With which to judge the world

Iuste Iudex ultionis,
 
Just Judge of final judgement
Donum fac remissionis
 
Grant your gift of grace, forgiveness
Ante diem rationis.
 
Before this day of deciding.

Qui Mariam absolvisti,
 
As you absolved Mary,
Et latronem exaudisti,
 
As you listened to the thief,
Mihi quoque spem dedisti.
 
You have given hope to me as well.

Lacrimosa dies illa,
 
This tearful day,
Qua resurget ex favķlla
 
When arises from the flames
Iudicandus homo reus:
 
The rueful human to be judged:
Huic ergo parce, Deus:
 
Spare him therefore, Adonai:

Pie Iesu Domine,
 
Dearest pious Lord Jesus,
Dona eis requiem. Amen.
 
Give them rest. Amen.


(Requiem: Sequence / Dies Irae I, V, VI, XIII, XVIII, XIX)



the justice we seek in life
too often it fails
too often its failure
betrays but our hopes
betrays it this very
idea of justice
on Earth:

oh, how we long
to change this,
oh, how we long
for the passage to the afterworld
be contingent
on justice
restored

is your heart
as heavy only
as a feather?

is your soul
free at all times
from sinful desires?

can you respond
to the seductions of the fallen one
with sincere a "no, thank you"?

are your thoughts
clear from all avarice,
vengeance, and spite?

do you reject, in your heart of hearts,
meticulous lists
about those who have wronged you?

do you recoil
at the thought of an enemy
punished, destroyed?

have you learnt, finally,
to love everyone,
and see your self in them?

or

does the image
of somehow justified pain
to those you believe to deserve it
excite you?

do you see
your self
elevated
by the role of executioner?

do you feel
you're better suited
to mete out justice
than the almighty?

do you feel
you should, in your prayers,
correct the potential leniency and grace
of the almighty judge?

are you so certain
that the book to be opened,
containing it all, right and wrong,
looks at you with justified kindness?

or do you feel, knowing yourself,
that bargaining with the divinity
is a path to success,
or to minimize pain?

or do you, in the ending of a life,
see less of a chance of retribution
but the necessity of mourning,
the shedding of tears
for every single one we've lost -
no matter what judgement may once then befall them -

do you feel
finally,
do you feel,
do you mourn,
but do you trust
in the love,
the forgiveness,
the grace,
and the sovereignty
of that
which is greater than us?

for we, in our puny ways to imagine
the deity is beyond all our constructions

whatever "god" is,
it transcends
our erratic attempts
at life
at judgement
at reason
at faith
and teaches us -
if only we'd let it -
humility
in the face of something bigger,
but also agency
to take charge of what we very much can:
to do as much as we can during life
to make the spectacle of death
not have to compensate
for any justice
we withheld from each other
while we had a chance
to make it right

so I shall celebrate this day,
dies illa,
in which our human judgement
can be upheld
and sees us all
as we all
with love
and patience
and kindness,
forgiveness:
so that the spirit of god
is present amongst us
always
and not only
at the very last day,
and certainly not
as dies irae,
a day of wrath
but a day
in which we reject that wrath
and welcome peace
instead



III.   אֵלִ֣י אֵ֖לִי לָמָ֣ה עֲזַבְתָּ֑נִי  |  ELI ELI LAMA AZAVTANI



אֵלִ֣י אֵ֖לִי לָמָ֣ה עֲזַבְתָּ֑נִי
 
eli, eli, lama azavtani
 
My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?

(Psalm 22:2 / Marcus 15:34 / Matthaeus 27:46)



oh highest order
how hast though forsaken me?

how can sense so disappear,
all my thoughts are filled with fear?

where meaning was supposed to be
there's tears now, death and cruelty

I saw a path once for my life
and now, I can no longer tell

what stable seemed, on quicksand built,
what built to last, they're tearing down

is that the end, or its beginning,
a sliding down from step to step

the steps are growing larger now,
like ledges now, the falls are harder

it seems, I see them grow again
till close I'll stand at the abyss

just one more fall, one day, far? soon?
what shall I do, shall I give in?

I feel forsaken, lost, and falling:
why is there no one here to catch me?



IV.   ΘΕΟΤOΚΕ ΠΑΡΘEΝΕ, ΧΑÎΡΕ  |  AVE MARIA



Θεοτόκε Παρθένε, χαῖρε,
 
Theotoke parthene, chaire,
 
God-bearing Virgin, rejoice,
κεχαριτωμένη Μαρία,
 
kecharitômenê Maria
 
Grace-filled Mary,
ὁ Κύριος μετὰ σοῦ.
 
ho kyrios meta sou.
 
The Lord is with you.
εὐλογημένη σὺ ἐν γυναιξί,
 
eulogêmenê sou en gynaixi
 
Praised you are among women,
καὶ εὐλογημένος ὁ καρπὸς τῆς κοιλίας σου,
 
kai eulogêmenos ho karpos tês koilias sou,
 
And praised is the fruit of your womb,
ὅτι Σωτῆρα ἔτεκες τῶν ψυχῶν ἡμῶν.
 
hoti Sôtêra etekes tôn psychôn hêmôn.
 
For you bore the Savior of our souls.

Sancta Maria, Mater Dei,
 
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
ora pro nobis peccatoribus,
 
Pray for us who are fallible
nunc et in hora mortis nostrae. Amen.
 
Now and in the hour of our death. Amen.

(Theotoke Parthene / Ave Maria)



/

asked we are
to carry within us
that which is bigger,
which is beyond us,
a burden so large,
we're never quite sure
we can bear it
at all

we may well believe
such a call
will only be made to the few:
and yet
it's been within us
it's been upon us
ever since we've been born

how do we nurture
this spirit within?
how do we carry
this burden, this gift?
how do we answer
a call such as this?

//

to carry divinity
within
to carry the universe
within
to carry life
within:

and to cherish it
nurture it
work to increase it
work to enhance it
work to enliven it
work to encourage it
work to well honor it
work to protect it
within and without

///

the maternal all
the paternal all
the nurturing all
the sisterly, brotherly, neighborly all:
and above all
kindness
and love
and always forgiveness
and always
full of grace



Salve, Regina,
 
Hail, holy queen,
Mater misericordię,
 
Mother of mercy and compassion,
vita, dulcedo, et spes nostra, salve.
 
our life, sweetness and our hope, hail to you.

Ad te clamamus exsules filii Evę,
 
to you we cry out, exiled children of Eve,
ad te suspiramus, gementes et flentes
 
to you we sigh, mourning and weeping
in hac lacrimarum valle.
 
in this valley of tears.

Eia, ergo, advocata nostra,
 
now, then, our advocate,
illos tuos misericordes oculos
 
your merciful eyes
ad nos converte;
 
turn toward us;

Et Jesum, benedictum fructum ventris tui,
 
and Jesus, blessed fruit of your womb,
nobis post hoc exsilium ostende.
 
show us after our exile.
O clemens, O pia, O dulcis Virgo Maria.
 
O clement, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary.

(Salve Regina)



// //

need a mother we, a queen,
full of compassion, of mercy, of love:

when cry we out
as children
in this world
of misery and pain,
of suffering and fear,
of imperfection and failed hopes

need a sympathetic voice we,
need a heart, a soul to bond with,
need a listener, a healer we,
in all those days
of suffering
and pain
of devastation
and of loss

// / //

for this life
in all its possibilities,
in all its beauty, all its joys,
a life quite unto death it is:
thus live we will
and life we'll see
and death, and death, and death once more:
there's nothing here that is immortal
no one here that lasts for ever
and your closest, dearest friends,
you'll see them disappear and fade
to nothingness all here is doomed -
we may but well remember them,
but memory is fragile too,
as we go on and on and on,
there's something in us, filled with pain,
filled with growing nothingness,
filled with sorrow all and all:
a heart of tears and desperation,
in need, so deeply, for salvation,
and even if it's just for seconds but:

in all our misery and darkness
need some light we, need some hope still
that we are closer than we think
to the greater whole, that we matter still;
that we are closer than we feel
to divinity itself, the force that connects us;
and that we are closer than we fear
to life itself, in its everlasting return

/// ///

oh, but we are afraid,
we have entered the circle of life
and are seeing the circles of hell
dragging us down in our hearts:
"lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch'entrate," said well the poet:
"let go of all hope, you who shall enter":
indeed, quite a comedy divine,
and yes, it may be quite so, as the playwright responds:
"life is a tale,
told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
signifying nothing"
but what shall we say,
what can we respond?
have looked into the abyss we now,
how could we possibly
in all our reality
reclaim this hope, any hope,
any will, any desire to live?

/// / ///

in the face of death,
we see life's end,
the end of dreams, the end of hopes,
the end of someone we held dear:

and after some time,
our eyes will stay dry,
the absence won't surprise us any longer,
and in our dreams,
we may not talk to them again

this second death, this cynical healing,
this cruelest denial of a life once held dear:
when death is no longer disruption, but fact;
when hope is so easily seen as all empty,
when love has filed away a loss as normal:
then, please, then remind us
of our tears,
our suffering,
our love,
and our lives

for otherwise, we'll be forsaken
and would have given in
to emptiness and death



Maria, breit den Mantel aus,
 
O Mary, please extend your coat,
mach Schirm und Schild für uns daraus;
 
let it be screen and shield for us;
lass uns darunter sicher stehn,
 
let safely all beneath it stay,
bis alle Stürm vorübergehn.
 
till all the storms shall go away.

Patronin voller Güte,
 
O patroness, do always
uns allezeit behüte.
 
protect us in your mercy.

O Mutter der Barmherzigkeit,
 
O mother of sweet mercy now,
den Mantel über uns ausbreit;
 
do place your coat here over us all;
uns all darunter wohl bewahr
 
do keep us safe beneath it well
zu jeder Zeit in aller Gfahr.
 
through all the times and misery.

Patronin voller Güte,
 
O patroness, do always
uns allezeit behüte.
 
protect us in your mercy.

(Maria, breit' den Mantel aus)



//// ////

need a protector we
someone to shield us
from the terror of life

need a consoler we
someone to console us
in pain and in loss

need a carer we
someone to have mercy
with all of us always

//// / ////

now and in the hour of our death
in our most lonely moments
in all our moments, caught in the loneliness
within:
alone within ourself,
thrown upon ourself
may well become unbearable we
to ourself:
may well life become unbearable
itself:
and though in company we may well be,
inside - insider our soul, our mind, our thoughts -
we are alone,
are disconnected
from it all:

may seem we
surrounded by life
it's only our senses
connecting us
while the self,
that mystery within,
may try to reach out,
but fail it must
in its prison
of the mind

reach out we may
to compensate
to overcome
the truth inside:
that finally, in all our strivings,
all we do
is to return
in our moment of death
to our moment of birth:
for leave we must
that which is know,
that which sustains us,
that which has nurtured us
(for better or worse)
to suddenly
depart
to suddenly
see:
it can be over
just like that
in brief a moment
all our pain
will cease:
and eyes that opened before
will close
to what we have known
for ever

what follows, we know:
we hope, something other than that
may come to pass



Stabat mater dolorósa
 
Stood the mother in her pain
juxta Crucem lacrimósa,
 
next the Cross, all full of tears,
dum pendébat Fķlius.
 
while her son hung there in death.

Fac me tecum pie flere,
 
Let me cry with you now here
crucifķxo condolére,
 
with the crucified I'll suffer,
donec ego vķxero.
 
for as long as I shall live.

Quando corpus moriétur,
 
While the body here will die,
fac, ut įnimę donétur
 
let the soul be given over
paradķsi glória.
 
to the glory then of paradise.

(Stabat Mater)



//// / ////

now and in the hour of our death
let us not be alone
let us not be without hope
let us not be without compassion
let us not be without forgiveness
let us not be without peace
let us not be without mercy
let us not be without kindness
let us not be without love
let us not be without You

///// /////

and so,
as yearn we still
for a parent, a friend
to keep us nourished,
keep us safe,
mere children we are
cast out of paradise
hoping
to one day return



V.   PIE IESV  |  DEAREST JESUS





Pie Jesu Domine, dona eis requiem.
 
Dearest Lord Jesus, give them rest,
Dona eis requiem sempiternam.
 
give them rest eternal.

(Pie Jesu)



/

need a helper we sometimes,
need an intercessor, friend?

for the divine
can seem so distant,
can seem so abstract
that it's too easy
to misunderstand

seek we
a human form,
a prophet, messenger, apostle;
a saint, a teacher, preacher, guide:

for sometimes
we need to feel
and not just think;
commiserate
and not just analyze;
see flesh and blood
and not just the abstract,
not just the unknowable
the unapproachable
and the mysterious

//

we've always needed a hero,
someone who stands
between the human and the divine,
a Hercules, Prometheus, Dionysus, Achilles:
someone then
who walks the Earth
and walks the Sky
the Heavens within reach

///

a hero
who knows us
has lived like us
has felt our pain
has lived our suffering
and joy:

a hero
that is just as ordinary
just as imperfect
just as mysterious
as all us ourselves

a hero
which shows us
that which is possible
that which is knowable
that which is us:
and so much more

// //

but we cannot abide
such a hero:
we cannot tolerate
our weakness
in the face of such clear heroism:

we will kill
we will demean
we will ridicule
we'll torture
we'll do anything
to in the end
be able
to ignore
the message
behind the man:
the divinity
within the human
the divinity
within ourselves



Herzliebster Jesu, was hast du verbrochen,
 
Oh, dearest Jesus, what have been doing,
Daß man ein solch scharf Urtheil hat gesprochen?
 
That you are judged so harshly and so cruelly?
Was ist die Schuld? In was für Missethaten
 
How have you sinned? Into what evil doings
Bist du gerathen?
 
Have you been tempted?

Was ist doch wohl die Ursach solcher Plagen?
 
What is the reason for all this pain and torture?
Ach! meine Sünden haben dich geschlagen!
 
Oh, my own failings are what has undone you!
Ich, o Herr Jesu! hab dies wohl verschuldet,
 
T'was me, Lord Jesus, who has been the reason
was du erduldet!
 
For what you're suff'ring.

Wie wunderbarlich ist doch diese Strafe!
 
How wonderous is this punishment so strangest,
Der gute Hirte leidet für die Schaafe;
 
That the Good Shepherd suffers for his sheep;
Die Schuld bezahlt der Herre, der Gerechte,
 
Their debt is paid now by the Lord, the Just,
Für seine Knechte!
 
For his own people!

O große Lieb! o Lieb ohn alle Maaße,
 
O greatest love, love without all measure,
Die dich gebracht auf diese Marterstraße”
 
That has brought all this torture here upon you;
Ich lebte mit der Welt in Lust und Freuden:
 
I've lived a worldly life in lust and joy,
Und du mußt leiden!
 
You though must suffer!

(Herzliebster Jesu)



// / //

and we'll find a way
to wash our hands
in the pretension
of innocence:
we'll find a way
to pretend we're not sinners
pretend we're all perfect
pretend we can judge
pretend we are better
than even
the best of us

/// ///

so thus,
we'll find a scapegoat
we'll find someone
to blame
for all our own failures,
for all our imperfections
and sins:

and we'll do it
again
and again
and again

even
if it is the messenger
of divinity
itself

/// / ///

and then
we'll need to put our hands
onto the wounds
of the body
of our hero
of our friend
of our beloved:

and see the sacred heart
beating
and longing
and suffering
this life
this concreteness
this very concrete
and bodily
manifestation
of the universe
in our midst,
in our self:

//// ////

and so we shall need
a body of proof
a body of suffering
a body anointed with our sin:

in order to believe
the sacrifice
to be real
and thus
our salvation

if only
we could believe
and already see
that the divine
is already with us:
that nature
is already with us:
that the universe
is already with us:
and we
with it all

as we are all
children of god
we are all
competing
for the same parent
and we all
miss the mark

and still we are loved
and still we belong
and still we will suffer
before we'll return
where we belong, where we came from,
finally



VI.   SANCTVS PATER NOSTER  |  OUR HOLY FATHER





Sanctus, Sanctus, Sanctus
 
Holy, Holy, Holy,
Dominus Deus Sabaoth.
 
God and Lord of Hosts:
Pleni sunt cęli et terra
gloria tua.
 
Full are the Heavens and Earth
with your Glory:
Hosanna in excelsis.
 
Hosanna in the Highest

Benedictus qui venit
in nomine Domini.
 
Blessed is who comes
in the name of the Lord,
Hosanna in excelsis.
 
Hosanna in the highest.

(Sanctus)


that which is holy
is part of us

that which is holy
we're part of it

that which is holy:
it is our father,
it is our mother,
it is our creator

that which is holy:
it is our sister,
it is our brother,
it is our relative
and friend

that which is holy:
it is within us
it is without us
it is within time
it is beyond time
it is
what it is
as it is:
it is it all
and all is it:
unlimited time
unlimited space
unlimited life
unlimited love

per ipsum et cum ipso et in ipso:
through it and with it and in it:
through this holiest of holy connections
gain and enhance we our life
and gain and enhance we
the life for all those around us

for we are not alone
we are always
with our relations
we are always
in connection
whether we see it
or live in denial

and filled be the universe
with all this love, this life, this glory:
and it is sacred
and its sacredness
may fill it our relations
may recognize we
the sacred within:
and sanctified that
which sanctifies us:

and those who walk
in awareness of the sanctity of all
may learn we from them
may see we with them
for we are all
connected
we are all
holy
we are all
sacred

and we should be
behaving
as such
always



אַבֻון דּבַשׁמַיָא
 
Awoon dwashmaya
 
Our father in heaven,
נֵתקַדַּשׁ שׁמָך
 
nithkadash shmakh
 
Your name shall be glorified
תִּאתֵא מַלכֻּותָך
 
taythey malcoothakh
 
Your guidance shall come
נֵהוֵא צֵביָנָך
 
nehweh sevianakh
 
Your will shall be done
אַיכַּנָא דּבַשׁמַיָא אָף בַּארעָא
 
aicanna dwashmaya op barah.
 
Like it is in the heavens, so let it be on Earth
הַב לַן לַחמָא דּסֻונקָנַן יַומָנָא
 
Gavlan lakhma dsonkanan yomana
 
Give to us the bread we need each day
וַשׁבֻוק לַן חַובַּין
 
washboklan khoben
 
Free and forgive us from our offenses
אַיכַּנָא דָּאף חנַן
 
aicanna dop khnan
 
As also we have freed and forgiven
שׁבַקן לחַיָבַין
 
shbakn lekhayaven,
 
Those who have offended against us
ולָא תַּעלַן לנֵסיֻונָא
 
gola talan lnisuna
 
And do not let us enter into temptation
אֵלָא פַּצָן מֵן בִּישָׁא
 
ella pasan min bisha
 
But deliver us from evil
מֵטֻל דּדִילָך הי מַלכֻּותָא
 
Mittol dilakhye malcotha,
 
Because yours are kingdom,
וחַילָא ותֵשׁבֻּוחתָּא
 
okhela ootishbokhta
 
power and glory
לעָלַם עָלמִין
 
lalam almin,
 
For ever and ever
אָמֵן
 
Amin.
 
Amen.

(Pater Noster)


as we recognize
the world around us
the universe
the divinity
the connectivity
and relatedness
of all:

shall we remind ourselves
of all our needs
of the needs of all
and recognize
the mutuality
of all our existence:

so may the universe
take care of us
as we take care of it all

so may the universe
be glorified
as it glorifies us all

so may the universe
be guiding us
as we are guiding each other

so may the universe
live through us
as we are living with it all

so may the universe
be nourishing us
as we are nourishing each other

so may the universe
forgive our failings
as we be forgiving of each other

so may the universe
not lead us astray
as we keep others on the path of the sacred



Ἐν ἀρχῇ ἦν ὁ λόγος,
 
En archêi ên ho logos
 
In the beginning was the word
καὶ ὁ λόγος ἦν πρὸς τὸν θεόν,
 
kai ho logos ên pros ton theon
 
and the word was with God
καὶ θεὸς ἦν ὁ λόγος.
 
kai theos ên ho logos
 
and God was the word

(John 1:1)


in the beginning of it all
was the spirit of it all,
the spirit of sacredness, of the divine,
and the sacredness
inspires all life
and has become life
everlasting

for all of life,
all of existence,
all of the universe
and the universes beyond,
all it all
is sacred,
is glorious,
and be ruled it
by sacredness,
draw its power
from our sacred connections
and be glorified
for ever and ever,
time without end:
and so it shall be



VII.   AGNVS DEI  |  LAMB OF GOD





Agnus Dei,
 
Lamb of God,
qui tollis peccata mundi:
 
who carries the sin of the world,
miserere nobis.
 
have mercy on us.

Agnus Dei,
 
Lamb of God,
qui tollis peccata mundi:
 
who bears the sin of the world,
dona nobis pacem.
 
give us peace

Agnus Dei,
 
Lamb of God,
qui tollis peccata mundi:
 
who removes the sin of the world,
dona eis requiem.
 
give them peace

Agnus Dei,
 
Lamb of God,
qui tollis peccata mundi:
 
who triumphs over the sin of the world,
dona nobis requiem, sempiternam.
 
give us peace eternal

(Agnus Dei (Requiem))



in this moment
standing here
contemplating
that which negates life
or that which fulfills it?
this strangest moment
of disappearance
of transformation
so completely according to nature,
and yet, reducing to nature
that which believed spirit
that which believed soul
that one who was, is, will be beloved:

and suddenly
the world
is gone
has disappeared
came crushing down on us
in all its existential dread
and now, but shrunk it has;
and nothing else,
and nobody else
here matters:
the dead and those left behind
and a deadening absence
in between


and hear I the words:

Absorpta est mors in victoria.
Ubi est, mors, victoria tua?
Ubi est, mors, stimulus tuus?

(Corinthios 15:54-55)

Where is, o death, your sting?
I feel it still
Where is, o death, your victory?
It's quite absolute and imperial.
Absorbed is death in victory?
If this is victory, Pyrrhus rules the world.


not ready am I
to accept
words of transcendence,
words meant to soothe me,
words meant to help me move on:

there is no victory here,
there never will be:

So this is life then:

vulnerant omnes, ultima necat:
all the hours of our lives
they'll hurt us deeply, hurt us always;
yet the last one, the one in the end,
kill us it will, finally

where then
is death
absorbed
in victory?

how do we pull out
the sting
death has thrust deep into our hearts so most cruelly?
to be felt still all hours all days all weeks months and years:

how?


let death be death
but life be life:
and let us see
in memory
a testament
for us to live,
for us to carry
within, without:

life
simply is
death
simply is
nature
simply is
God
simply is
"that which is"

can see we
beyond our suffering and pain
our pity and self-pity
our loss, our deeply felt loss,
our sense of someone missing:
can sense we
that which was lost
the one which was lost
deep inside us
to guide us
to carry with us
through all our days
through all our nights
through dreams and nightmares
hopes and fears
so that we may hope
to one day
be reunited:
so that we can see
that already
we're united

in memory
in testament
in legacy
in life
through death


now
let all our pain and suffering
be carried away by the one

let all the suffering of the world
be carried away by the one

let all the failings of the world
be carried away by the one

so that we all will find
mercy
so that we all will find
peace
so that we all will find
rest
eternal
in the here
and the hereafter



Lux aeterna luceat eis, Domine,
 
The eternal light may shine upon them, Lord,
cum sanctis tuis in aeternum,
 
with your saints in eternity,
quia pius es.
 
for you are good.

Requiem aeternam dona nobis, Domine,
 
Eternal rest grant us, Lord,
et lux perpetua luceat nobis,
 
and the eternal light shall shine upon us,
quia pius es.
 
for you are good.

(Lux Aeterna)



the break
the rupture
the wound
the trauma
the darkness
needs healing
needs light:
needs light in the darkness
so that it may shine
and our hearts and minds and souls
not darken
in this world so full with pain

let them who died,
let us who still live
choose light
over darkness
joy
over pain
hope
over hopelessness:
in spite of death
in spite of darkness, pain and suffering:

for we can choose,
you know?

we can always choose
in the more somber moments
after all the tears
have emptied out
our pain
into the world:

we can choose:
to be kind
to be joyous
to be loving
to be good
to still remember
to be alive

embrace we
this life
embrace we
this death
and see we
that indeed
there can be victory
there can be healing
there can be life, again

everlasting



VIII.   LIBERA ME  |  LIBERATE ME





Libera me, Domine,
 
Deliver me, O Lord,
de morte ęterna,
 
from death eternal
in die illa tremenda:
 
on that fearful day,

Quando cęli movendi sunt et terra:
 
When heavens and earth shall be moved,
Dum veneris iudicare sęculum per ignem.
 
When thou shalt come to judge the world by fire.

Tremens factus sum ego, et timeo,
 
I am made to tremble, and I fear,
dum discussio venerit,
 
till the judgment be upon us,
atque ventura ira.
 
and the coming wrath,

Quando cęli movendi sunt et terra.
 
When heavens and earth shall be moved.

Dies illa, dies irę,
 
This day, this day of wrath,
calamitatis et miserię,
 
of calamity and misery,
dies magna et amara valde.
 
this day of great and exceeding bitterness.

Dum veneris iudicare sęculum per ignem.
 
When thou shalt come to judge the world by fire.

Requiem ęternam dona eis, Domine:
 
Rest eternal grant unto them, O Lord:
et lux perpetua luceat eis.
 
and let light perpetual shine upon them.

(Libera Me)



/

still, do tremble we and fear
just in mere anticipation
not of death just
but beyond:

this "undiscovered country
from whose bourn
no traveller returns";
and which the Bard
sees as another step,
another stage
to finally be seen and met

oh, we know stories,
we know tales:
of Isis and Osiris
Dionys' and Semele -

that's all quite well,
and all quite anodyne
and theoretical, for sure:

to face death
no matter
how beautifully you may put it
to face death
the reality of death:
all those stories
all those prayers
all those strategies
to understand, to cope:

empty tricks they are
to help us face
what can't be evaded -
and yet,
once see you through them,
will work they still?

//

how can we
be liberated
from the power of death?

how can we
instead of trembling
seek to embrace
what needs to happen
what needs to be -
or rather, not be?

///

do fear we death
or fear we the hereafter?

do fear we death
or fear we what we've done
or failed to do -
and that it then might follow us
onto this undiscovered country still?

// //

whose judgement is it
that we fear?

whose deeds are it
that could be judged?

whose life is it
that might be deemed unfulfilled?

// / //

I cannot pretend
to have the answers to this all:
and those who do,
how could it be
that their conviction
should be so steadfast
when all we have
is hopes and fears?

/// ///

and as we stare unto the end
the thoughts, the fears come rushing in
and crash now all our deep-held truths,
and seeing death, just what's the point,
just what's the purpose of it all,
how could we live
if all we'll find
is death in the end?

and yet,
there's life,
and yet,
there's love,
and yet, there's time:

for it is life
in the here and now
that liberates us
from the end to come:
and how we use it
how we live it
is ours to try:

until the moment of our rest has come,
shall live we so this rest is needs,
feel we so we've felt it all,
love we deeply, truly and fully:
so in the end
we'll know
we'll see
and could very well say:
it is complete

and our life after death
will be the legacy
we're leaving behind:
and that's up to us
and nobody else









INTERLVDIVM SECVNDVM


we think we know
we think we control
we think we can tell
we think we can define
what divinity is

and yet
the majesty
of what we call "God"
does not allow us to assume
does not allow us to make use of it
does not allow us
to pretend
we could possibly know
the intention
of divinity

and whoever claims
to be acting
in the name of God
in the name of divinity
of spirit
of destiny:
beware those deluded ones:
for they pretend to know
what cannot be known

"God wills it"
has always been an excuse
for desires most human
and not at all
divine









PARS TERTIA: بِاسْمِ اللّٰه  |  BISMILLAH




لَا إِلَٰهَ إِلَّا ٱللَّٰهُ
 
lā ʾilāha ʾillā -llāhu
 
There is no god but God.





I: SANCTITAS  ·  II: CREATOR SPIRITVS  ·  III: IVSTE IVDEX  ·  IV: AVCTORITAS  ·  V: VERITAS  ·  VI: POTESTAS  ·  VII: DOMINVS DEVS, REX CÆLESTIS  ·  VIII: DEVS CARITAS EST





I: SANCTITAS  |  HOLINESS



الرَّحْمَنُ
 
١
 
Ar-Raḥmān
 
The Beneficent
الرَّحِيمُ
 
٢
 
Ar-Raḥīm
 
The Merciful
الْمَلِكُ
 
٣
 
Al-Mālik
 
The King
الْقُدُّوسُ
 
٤
 
Al-Quddus
 
The Most Sacred
السَّلاَمُ
 
٥
 
As-Salām
 
The Source of Peace
الْمُؤْمِنُ
 
٦
 
Al-Mu’min
 
The Infuser of Faith
الْمُهَيْمِنُ
 
٧
 
Al-Muhaymin
 
The Preserver of Safety
الْعَزِيزُ
 
٨
 
Al-ʿAzīz
 
The All-Mighty
الْجَبَّارُ
 
٩
 
Al-Jabbar
 
The Omnipotent
ُالْمُتَكَبِّر
 
١٠
 
Al-Mutakabbir
 
The Supreme

(The 99 Names of God)



/

that which is holy

that which is most gracious,
that which is merciful,
that which is greater than all kings,
that which is the most sacred,
that which is the source of peace,
that which gives us faith,
that which keeps us safe,
that which is exalted,
that which is the source of all power,
that which is supreme:

that is
what was
what is
what will be

//

seek a person on a cloud we?
seek a man-like figure we?
seek we someone like us, only bigger?
all of this leads us astray

for surely, we have imagined gods
like jealous people, super-sized,
lording over us,
judging us,
manipulating us,
needing us to worship them:

be they
Ptah, Amun, Isis, Horus, or Ra,
Cronus, Uranus, Gaia, Chaos and Eros,
Zeus, Apollo, Athena, Poseidon or Dionysus,
Iuppiter, Juno, Mars, Venus or Mercury,
Wodan, Thor, Balder, Loki or Hel:
approaches all, though incomplete,
of aspects merely
of the greater whole:
for these are not gods,
mere aspects they are,
appearances, names
of the one
that is reflected through them:

the one that's divine,
that speaks through all of them,
the one with many names,
that which transcends
our understanding, our knowledge,
our very ability
to understand
the universe itself

///

where petty we are, the divine is gracious
where cruel we are, the divine is merciful
where small we are, the divine is infinite:

and thus
we shall aspire
not to the smallest,
not to the cruelest,
not to the pettiest
of all
our instincts and desires:

but to reflect
the sanctity
of the universe
the grandiosity
of nature
the supremacy
of life
itself:

for this
is the way
towards that
which is greater
than ourselves



II: CREATOR SPIRITVS  |  CREATOR SPIRIT



الْخَالِقُ
 
١١
 
Al-Khaaliq
 
The Creator
الْبَارِئُ
 
١٢
 
Al-Bari’
 
The Evolver
الْمُصَوِّرُ
 
١٣
 
Al-Muṣawwir
 
The Designer
الْغَفَّارُ
 
١٤
 
Al-Ghaffar
 
The Constant Forgiver
الْقَهَّارُ
 
١٥
 
Al-Qahhar
 
The All-Prevailing One
الْوَهَّابُ
 
١٦
 
Al-Wahhaab
 
The Supreme Bestower
الرَّزَّاقُ
 
١٧
 
Ar-Razzaq
 
The Provider
الْفَتَّاحُ
 
١٨
 
Al-Fattaḥ
 
The Supreme Solver
اَلْعَلِيْمُ
 
١٩
 
Al-'Alim
 
The All-Knowing
الْقَابِضُ
 
٢٠
 
Al-Qabiḍ
 
The Withholder
الْبَاسِطُ
 
٢١
 
Al-Basiṭ
 
The Extender
الْخَافِضُ
 
٢٢
 
Al-Khafiḍ
 
The Reducer
الرَّافِعُ
 
٢٣
 
Ar-Rafi’
 
The Exalter

/

that which creates
the creative spirit
the spark
the mechanism
through which all that is
has come to be:

//

from the non-time before time
that non-time that sparked time
to the beginning of time
the beginning of being
the beginning of the universe
itself:

///

בְּרֵאשִׁית בָּרָא אֱלֹהִים | bereshit bara Elohim
when that which always was, is and will be
began to create
אֵת הַשָּׁמַיִם וְאֵת הָאָרֶץ | hashamayim ve'et ha'aretz
the heavens and the earth
that which is above, beyond us
and that upon which we live.

וַיֹּ֥אמֶר אֱלֹהִ֖ים | vayomer Elohim
merely by the word
of that which always was, is and will be
יְהִי אוֹר‎ | yehi 'or
let there be light,
let now be made
the beginning of time
that beginning
through the mere idea,
a word:
كُن فَيَكُونُ | kun fa-yakūnu
be, and it is:
through logos,
through truth:
ἐν ἀρχῇ ἦν ὁ λόγος | en arkhêi ên ho lógos
in the beginning was the word
was truth
was that which is

// //

beginnings cannot be empty
nothing can be created out of nothingness
as energy
can only be transformed
never created:

// / //

and so
do venerate we

that which creates
that which is evolution
that which designs
that which forgives
that which always prevails and is
that which supremely bestows
that which provides
that which gives victory
that which is all knowledge
that which withholds
that which extends
that which reduces
and that which exalts:

/// ///

but creation
has many children:
we are but one
of the multitude
if not we protect
and let flourish
this creation,
judgement
will fall



III: IVSTE IVDEX  |  JUST JUDGE



الْمُعِزُّ
 
٢٤
 
Al-Mu’izz
 
The Honorer
ٱلْمُذِلُّ
 
٢٥
 
Al-Muzill
 
The Dishonorer
السَّمِيعُ
 
٢٦
 
As-Sami’
 
The All-Hearing
الْبَصِيرُ
 
٢٧
 
Al-Baṣir
 
The All-Seeing
الْحَكَمُ
 
٢٨
 
Al-Ḥakam
 
The Impartial Judge
الْعَدْلُ
 
٢٩
 
Al-‘Adl
 
The Utterly Just
اللَّطِيفُ
 
٣٠
 
Al-Laṭif
 
The Most Gentle
الْخَبِيرُ
 
٣١
 
Al-Khabir
 
The All-Aware
الْحَلِيمُ
 
٣٢
 
Al-Ḥalim
 
The Most Forbearing
الْعَظِيمُ
 
٣٣
 
Al-ʿAẓim
 
The Magnificent
الْغَفُور
 
٣٤
 
Al-Ghafur
 
The Great Forgiver
الشَّكُورُ
 
٣٥
 
Ash-Shakur
 
The Most Appreciative

/

that which is just
that which is honest
that which is truest forgiveness:

the spirit
of justice
the spirit
of honor
the spirit
of truth:

this is
what's holy
this is
what is divine
this is
what is truly sublime

//

for all we know
we know but parts,
for all we judge,
we know not the whole,
for all we see,
we see just partially for now:
δι' ἐσόπτρου ἐν αἰνίγματι | di esoptrou en ainigmati:
through a glass we see in obscurity

///

and as we search
for the idea of truth
the idea of justice
the idea of love,
we draw
from the one,
the holy one
in itself:

that which brings honor
that which denies it
that which hears all
that which sees all
that which is impartial
that which is just
that which is gentle
that which is aware of it all,
that which is patient,
that which is greatness,
that which forgives it all,
that which appreciates it all

// //

for we may seek justice
in the hereafter:
and yet,
no matter our search,
we may not see it
within our lifetime,
and yet,
we must always aspire
to go on,
to try again
once we have missed the mark:

thus we shall not look
for perfection
in us:
we may aim for it,
for the idea itself
in that
which is greater
than us

// / //

iuste iudex,
just judge,
you know all we've spoken,
you know all we've done,
you know what's in our hearts all hidden,
thus in the end of our days,
when our heart
is weighed against a feather,
be gentle, be kind, be merciful
and see:

for live we our lives
between hope and despair,
words and deeds,
theory and reality,
and time and again,
we'll miss the mark

judge us not
for when we've failed,
for when we've sinned,
but whether we've tried
to hit the mark,
to live up
to expectations
and hopes:

for all we can do
is to try:
and to strive
for the better
in the time we have

and if our heart
weighs more than a feather
count as well, please,
our pain and sorrow,
our fears and horrors
that darken our path
so many days
in this here world

have mercy with us,
oh judge



IV: AVCTORITAS  |  AUTHORITY



الْعَلِيُّ
 
٣٦
 
Al-Ali
 
The Sublime
الْكَبِيرُ
 
٣٧
 
Al-Kabir
 
The Most Great
الْحَفِيظُ
 
٣٨
 
Al-Hafiẓ
 
The Preserver
المُقيِت
 
٣٩
 
Al-Muqit
 
The Nourisher
اﻟْﺣَسِيبُ
 
٤٠
 
Al-Ḥasib
 
The Reckoner
الْجَلِيلُ
 
٤١
 
Al-Jalil
 
The Majestic
الْكَرِيمُ
 
٤٢
 
Al-Karim
 
The Most Generous
الرَّقِيبُ
 
٤٣
 
Ar-Raqib
 
The Watchful
ٱلْمُجِيبُ
 
٤٤
 
Al-Mujib
 
The Responsive One
الْوَاسِعُ
 
٤٥
 
Al-Wasi’
 
The Omnipresent
الْحَكِيمُ
 
٤٦
 
Al-Ḥakim
 
The All-Wise
الْوَدُودُ
 
٤٧
 
Al-Wadud
 
The Most Loving
الْمَجِيدُ
 
٤٨
 
Al-Majid
 
The Glorious
الْبَاعِثُ
 
٤٩
 
Al-Ba’ith
 
The Resurrector

/

power of powers
authority of authorities
supreme love of supreme loves:

a concept
not a being
not supranatural
but including all nature
the all-nature
all-being
all-father
all-mother
all-child
all-universe
and beyond:

the unified theory
in unified praxis:
unified mind
in unified matter:
unified thought
and unified reality:

that which exists
that which is
אֶהְיֶה אֲשֶׁר אֶהְיֶה | ’ehye ’ăšer ’ehye
the one who is what is

//

thus acknowledge we:

that which is sublime
that which is greatest
that which preserves
that which nourishes
that which brings reckoning
that which is majestic
that which is most generous
that which is watchful
that which is responsive
that which is all-present
that which is all-wise
that which is all-loving
that which is most glorious
that which is resurrection itself

///

and thus

shall we never bow down
to false authority

shall listen we not
to false claims of supremacy

shall follow we not
false friends nor false prophets

// //

for the divine
just is
and its justice
can only be granted
by that
which is most gracious
and most merciful



V: VERITAS  |  TRUTH



الشَّهِيدُ
 
٥٠
 
Ash-Shahid
 
The All-Witnessing
الْحَقُ
 
٥١
 
Al-Ḥaqq
 
The Absolute Truth
الْوَكِيلُ
 
٥٢
 
Al-Wakil
 
The Trustee
الْقَوِيُ
 
٥٣
 
Al-Qawi
 
The All-Strong
الْمَتِينُ
 
٥٤
 
Al-Matin
 
The Steadfast
الْوَلِيُّ
 
٥٥
 
Al-Wali
 
The Friend
الْحَمِيدُ
 
٥٦
 
Al-Ḥamid
 
The All-Praiseworthy
الْمُحْصِي
 
٥٧
 
Al-Muḥṣi
 
The All-Enumerating
الْمُبْدِئُ
 
٥٨
 
Al-Mubdiʾ
 
The Originator
ٱلْمُعِيدُ
 
٥٩
 
Al-Muʿid
 
The Restorer
الْمُحْيِي
 
٦٠
 
Al-Muḥyi
 
The Giver of Life
اَلْمُمِيتُ
 
٦١
 
Al-Mumit
 
The Bringer of Death
الْحَيُّ
 
٦٢
 
Al-Ḥayy
 
The Ever-Living
الْقَيُّومُ
 
٦٣
 
Al-Qayyum
 
The Self-Subsisting

/

mortal we are
by limits we're bound
that see us shackled
to a world
of imperfection
and perception

like those in Plato's cave
sit we
looking at shadows
of a reality
more alien to us
than we'll ever know:

and though we try
and though we struggle
though we plead:
we see mere schemes,
mere forms,
mere shadows of the truth itself:

//

and yet,
we try,
and surely, must:

it's life's demand
and sacred duty
all in one

///

thus seek we,
for the sake of the search,
and for the sake of our souls,
for the sake of the truth
and life itself:

that which sees all
that which is truth itself
that which advocates for us,
that which is strongest,
which is more steadfast,
which is our friend,
which deserves praise,
that which takes count,
that which is first,
that which restores,
that which gives life,
that which brings death,
that which just is,
that without needs

// //

this abstraction,
becomes it concrete
within our souls, our minds,
descends into us,
inspires us,
guides us
as conscience,
daimonion,
the spark divine,
the friend eternal,
compass,
guide:

and yet,
we shall not err
to believe
we know
or understand:

for the search
continues
the truth
will guide us:
but the search
is the way



VI: POTESTAS  |  MIGHT



الْوَاجِدُ
 
٦٤
 
Al-Wajid
 
The Perceiver
الْمَاجِدُ
 
٦٥
 
Al-Maajid
 
The Most Glorious
الْواحِدُ
 
٦٦
 
Al-Waḥid
 
The Unique
اَلاَحَدُ
 
٦٧
 
Al-Aḥad
 
The Indivisible
الصَّمَدُ
 
٦٨
 
Aṣ-Ṣamad
 
The Eternal
الْقَادِرُ
 
٦٩
 
Al-Qadir
 
The All-Powerful
الْمُقْتَدِرُ
 
٧٠
 
Al-Muqtadir
 
The Dominant
الْمُقَدِّمُ
 
٧١
 
Al-Muqaddim
 
The Expediter
الْمُؤَخِّرُ
 
٧٢
 
Al-Mu’akhkhir
 
The Delayer
الأوَّلُ
 
٧٣
 
Al-Awwal
 
The First
الآخِرُ
 
٧٤
 
Al-Aakhir
 
The Last
الظَّاهِرُ
 
٧٥
 
Aẓ-Ẓahir
 
The Manifest
الْبَاطِنُ
 
٧٦
 
Al-Baṭin
 
The Hidden One

/

no earthly powers shall we praise
no earthly powers shall adore we
but in our hearts, our souls, our minds,
the holy one
the one who is
the one who is truth
shall be the sole power
keeping us true:

//

and thus we shall trust:

that which perceives,
which is most glorious,
which is unique,
which is indivisible,
which is eternal,
which is all-powerful,
that which is dominant,
that which all expedites,
that which delays,
that which is Alpha,
which is Omega,
that which is manifest,
that which is hidden

///

the power we need
is not of this earth
is not merely mortal
is not just material
is not simply force
does not wish call
"deus lo vult":
for "God wills it"
have said mainly those
making themselves into gods:

but that which is holy,
may well it guide us,
but its power over us
cannot be grasped
in the here and now
by our limited minds
and our souls all trapped
in a world
of permanent trials



VII: DOMINVS DEVS, REX CÆLESTIS  |  LORD & HEAVENLY KING



الْوَالِي#
 
٧٧
 
Al-Wali
 
The Patron
الْمُتَعَالِي
 
٧٨
 
Al-Muta’ali
 
The Supremely Exalted
الْبَرُّ
 
٧٩
 
Al-Barr
 
The Source of All Goodness
التَّوَابُ
 
٨٠
 
At-Tawwab
 
The Ever-Relenting
الْمُنْتَقِمُ
 
٨١
 
Al-Muntaqim
 
The Avenger
العَفُوُ
 
٨٢
 
Al-‘Afu
 
The Pardoner
الرَّؤُوفُ
 
٨٣
 
Ar-Ra’uf
 
The Most Kind
َمَالِكُ ٱلْمُلْكُ
 
٨٤
 
Maalik-Ul-Mulk
 
The Owner of All Sovereignty
ذُوالْجَلاَلِ وَالإكْرَامِ
 
٨٥
 
Zul-Jalali wal-Ikram
 
Lord of Majesty and Honour
الْمُقْسِطُ
 
٨٦
 
Al-Muqsiṭ
 
The All-Equitable
الْجَامِعُ
 
٨٧
 
Al-Jaami’
 
The Uniter
ٱلْغَنيُّ
 
٨٨
 
Al-Ghani
 
The Independent
ٱلْمُغْنِيُّ
 
٨٩
 
Al-Mughni
 
The Emancipator
اَلْمَانِعُ
 
٩٠
 
Al-Mani’
 
The Defender
الضَّارَ
 
٩١
 
Aḍ-Ḍarr
 
The Distresser

/

shalt seek we not
a lord and master
enslaving us
and leaving no choice
to ourselves

shalt seek we not
a superhero in the sky
nor supernatural a being
that's somehow like us, only grander

for there is nothing
like the holy one:
وَلَمْ يَكُنْ لَّهٗ كُفُوًا اَحَدٌ | Wa lam yakul-lahu kufuwan ahad
nothing compares to the one
and we shall not make
any graven image
nor an image in our mind

pretending to understand
which cannot be understood
pretending to control
which cannot be controlled
pretending to know
which cannot be known

for any image we could make
would always be lacking
and lead us
astray

//

but still, we must find:

that which looks over us,
which is exalted,
is source of all goodness,
which ever relents,
the truest avenger,
that which grants pardon,
which is most kind,
the source of all sovereignty,
that which is honor and majesty all,
which is all-equitable,
that which unites,
is never corrupt,
that which emancipates,
which always defends,
but also distresses

///

if the power we seek
is not in alignment
with the divine

our cause won't be just
our cause won't succeed
our cause may well fail

quia tuum est regnum, et potestas,
et gloria in saecula:
the only kingdom, power and glory
belong to the eternal throughout all eternity



VIII: DEVS CARITAS EST  |  GOD IS LOVE



النَّافِعُ
 
٩٢
 
An-Nafi’
 
The Benefactor
النُّورُ
 
٩٣
 
An-Nur
 
The Light
الْهَادِي
 
٩٤
 
Al-Hadi
 
The Way
الْبَدِيعُ
 
٩٥
 
Al-Badi’
 
The Beautiful
اَلْبَاقِي
 
٩٦
 
Al-Baqi
 
The Everlasting
الْوَارِثُ
 
٩٧
 
Al-Warith
 
The Inheritor
الرَّشِيدُ
 
٩٨
 
Ar-Rashid
 
The Guide
الصَّبُورُ
 
٩٩
 
Aṣ-Ṣabur
 
The Timeless

/

God is that which is love
God is that which is life
God is that which is trust
God is that which is hope
God is that which is faith
God is that which brings help
God is that which supports us
God is that which lifts us up
God is that which sees us as one
God is that which is mercy
God is that which is grace

//

in all our hopes,
in all our dreams,
in all our days
and days yet to come:

we've seen disappointment,
we've seen chaos over order,
we've seen hate over love,
we've seen indifference over care,
we've seen coldness over warmth,
we've seen war over peace,
we've seen death over life,
we've seen destruction over creation,
we've seen tyranny over justice,
we've seen despair over hope

the end of hope
is the end of life:
the end of love
is the end of the universe

but hope
cannot come
from gods small and false,
from prophets of falsehood,
from desires so human, all-too-human:

hope
can only come
from life
from that which affirms life
from love
from that which affirms love
from a within
that aligns with that which is greater than all

///

thus place we our hope,
thus place we our faith,
thus place we our love
in that
which reciprocates,
in that
which embraces us,
in that
which is real:

that which is benefactor
that which is light
which is the way
that which is beautiful
which lasts forever
that into which all will flow
that which guides us
that which is without time




Ἡ ἀγάπη μακροθυμεῖ χρηστεύεται ἡ ἀγάπη οὐ ζηλοῖ ἡ ἀγάπη οὐ περπερεύεται οὐ φυσιοῦται.
 
Hê agapê makrothumeî khrêsteuetai, hê agape ou zêloî, hê agape ou perpereuetai ou phusioûtai.
 
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
οὐκ ἀσχημονεῖ οὐ ζητεῖ τὰ ἑαυτῆς οὐ παροξύνεται οὐ λογίζεται τὸ κακόν.
 
Ouk askhêmoneî ou zêteî ta heautês ou paroxunetai ou logizetai to kakon.
 
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
οὐ χαίρει ἐπὶ τῇ ἀδικίᾳ συγχαίρει δὲ τῇ ἀληθείᾳ·
 
Ou khairei epi tê adikia; synkhairei de tê alêtheiai.
 
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
πάντα στέγει πάντα πιστεύει πάντα ἐλπίζει πάντα ὑπομένει.
 
Panta stegei, panta pisteuei, panta elpizei, panta hupomenei.
 
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Ἡ ἀγάπη οὐδέποτε ἐκπίπτει
 
Hê agapê oudepote ekpiptei.
 
Love never fails.

(1 Corinthians 13: 4-8)


// //

the love we seek
is the love we must give:
it cannot be faked
it cannot be pretense
it cannot be a game:

and it is love
that ties all together
it is love
that creates
it is love
that binds us
it is love
that gives us life:

and that which is love
is that which we seek:
just as it sought us
and made us
and will call us back
to where we belong
at the end of our days









TEΛOΣ  |  THE END


I: DEVS SEMPER MAIOR  ·  II: DOMINVS PASCIT ME, ET NIHIL MIHI DEERIT  ·  III: IN PARADISVM





I: DEVS SEMPER MAIOR  |  GOD IS ALWAYS GREATER



הִנֵּ֨ה אָנֹכִ֜י שֹׁלֵ֤חַ מַלְאָךְ֙ לְפָנֶ֔יךָ לִשְׁמׇרְךָ֖ בַּדָּ֑רֶךְ וְלַהֲבִ֣יאֲךָ֔ אֶל־הַמָּק֖וֹם אֲשֶׁ֥ר הֲכִנֹֽתִי׃
 
Hinnêh ’ānōḵî šōlêaḥ mal’āḵ ləp̄āneḵā, lišmārəḵā baddāreḵ; wəlahăḇî’ăḵā, ’el hammāqōwm ’ăšer hăḵinōṯî.
 
See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared.

(Exodus 23:20)



ἐν τῇ οἰκίᾳ τοῦ πατρός μου μοναὶ πολλαί εἰσιν. [..] καὶ ἐὰν πορευθῶ καὶ ἑτοιμάσω τόπον ὑμῖν, πάλιν ἔρχομαι καὶ παραλήμψομαι ὑμᾶς πρὸς ἐμαυτόν, ἵνα ὅπου εἰμὶ ἐγὼ καὶ ὑμεῖς ἦτε.
 
En têi oikiai toû patros mou monai pollai eisin. […] kai ean poreuthô kai hetoimasô topon humîn, palin erkhomai kai paralêmpsomai humâs pros emauton, hina hopou eimi ego kai humeîs ête.
 
In My Father's house are many dwelling places. [..] And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also.

(John 14:2-3)



وَهُوَ ٱلْقَاهِرُ فَوْقَ عِبَادِهِۦ ۖ وَيُرْسِلُ عَلَيْكُمْ حَفَظَةً حَتَّىٰٓ إِذَا جَآءَ أَحَدَكُمُ ٱلْمَوْتُ تَوَفَّتْهُ رُسُلُنَا وَهُمْ لَا يُفَرِّطُونَ
 
Wa huwal qaahiru fawqa 'ibaadihee wa yursilu 'alaikum hafazatan hattaaa izaa jaaa'a ahadakumul mawtu tawaffathu rusulunaa wa hum laa yufarritoon.
 
And he, the Lord over all his creation, sends guardian angels to watch over you till your death. When you die, they will take you and never fail.

(Surah 6: Al-An'am: Ayat 61)


/

the love of God
is but the insight
into the majesty of the universe:
and to believe
is but to trust
there's something greater than us
and we are
its children

//

star stuff we are,
star dust it all,
ever since time
came into being:

this creation
this transformation,
this evolution
has brought us forth:
and it is sacred

and it is life:
and since it emerged
at the beginning of time
the cradle of all
it had become

see the stars we
see the galaxies
see the mystery
within and beyond
and we are so small
and we are so blessed
to be a part
of this all

///

see we the universe
see we the stars and the sky
and the earth beneath our feet:
and the world around us:
it's all alive
and we are part
of this community
of life
and death
and rebirth:

star dust we are
to star dust
we will return
for the cycle
to begin again:

for we are one
for we are connected
for we a part but
of all this everything
around us

// //

and the stories we've told
and the stories we'll tell
are all alive
with the greater truth:

that this is
where we belong
that this is
where we have meaning
that this is
where we are loved
that this is
where we are needed
that this is
where we are united
together
for ever

// / //

whatever you call God,
it is this:
that which is greater
than our smallest selves
that which transcends
our smallest horizons
that which creates
that which transforms
that which contains
this all:

we may call this Lord,
we may call this the universe,
but its truth is the same:

we are
what we are
because of that which is
because of this sacred connection
between all that exists

and we are called
to return
this loving embrace
in all its complexity
its pleasure, its pain all:

for we are alive
and our lives
are the foundation
of those yet to come

/// ///

thus let us embrace
all who have died
and see their lives
as part of it all
and a call for love:

for whatever god is,
is mercy
is kindness
is love
beyond anything else
and without measure
time without end
Amen



II: DOMINUS PASCIT ME, ET NIHIL MIHI DEERIT  |  THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD, I SHALL NOT WANT



מִזְמ֥וֹר לְדָוִ֑ד יְהֹוָ֥ה רֹ֜עִ֗י לֹ֣א אֶחְסָֽר
 
Mizmovr le David; hashem ro'i lo echsar.
 
A Psalm of David. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
בִּנְא֣וֹת דֶּ֖שֶׁא יַרְבִּיצֵ֑נִי עַל־מֵ֖י מְנֻח֣וֹת יְנַֽהֲלֵ
 
Bin'ovt deshe yarbitzeni; al-mei menuchovt yenahaleni.
 
He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside still waters;
נַפְשִׁ֥י יְשׁוֹבֵ֑ב יַנְחֵ֥נִי בְמַעְגְּלֵי־צֶ֜֗דֶק לְמַ֣עַן שְׁמֽוֹ
 
Nafshi yeshovvev; yancheni vema'gelei-tzedek lema'an shemov.
 
he restores my soul. He leads me in right paths for his name's sake.
גַּ֚ם כִּֽי־אֵלֵ֨ךְ בְּגֵ֪יא צַלְמָ֡וֶת לֹא־אִ֘ירָ֚א רָ֗ע כִּי־אַתָּ֥ה עִמָּדִ֑י שִׁבְטְךָ֥ וּ֜מִשְׁעַנְתֶּ֗ךָ הֵ֣מָּה יְנַֽחֲמֻֽנִי
 
Gam ki-elech begei tzalmavet lo-ira ra ki-attah immadi; shivtecha umish'antecha hemmah yenachamuni.
 
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil; for you are with me; your rod and your staff - they comfort me.
תַּֽ֘עֲרֹ֤ךְ לְפָנַ֨י שֻׁלְחָ֗ן נֶ֥גֶד צֹֽרְרָ֑י דִּשַּׁ֖נְתָּ בַשֶּׁ֥מֶן רֹ֜אשִׁ֗י כּוֹסִ֥י רְוָיָֽה
 
Ta'aroch lefanai shulchan neged tzorerai; dishanta vashemen roshi kovsi revayah.
 
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
אַ֚ךְ ט֣וֹב וָחֶ֣סֶד יִ֖רְדְּפוּנִי כָּל־יְמֵ֣י חַיָּ֑י וְשַׁבְתִּ֖י בְּבֵית־יְ֜הֹוָ֗ה לְאֹ֣רֶךְ יָמִֽים
 
Ach tovv vachesed yirdefuni kol-yemei chaiyai; veshavti beveit-hashem le'orech yamim.
 
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord my whole life long.

(Psalm 23)


/

we had to leave the Garden
when we grew up -
no longer could we stay
in eternal innocence
and care:
once knowledge we found
about evil and good
we had to part
from the clarity
and hopeful simplicity
of being a child:

and yet,
though exiled from Eden,
children we stay
even if grown:
for live we
in the presence eternal
of all that is
of all that has been
and all still to come:
in a world of infinite eternity
and timeless holiness around us all
we'll always be children
we'll always have to grow up
even more

and you do not need to be a sheep
to appreciate a good shepherd:
you do not need to reject reason
to appreciate a mystery:
you do not need to be alone
to appreciate communion
with eternity

//

we all may have seen
the valley of darkness
we all may have felt
the darkness of loss
we all may have feared
the loss of hope:

and the feeling
eating us
from the inside:
if not yet, when?
if not us yet, maybe soon?

are building we a home
in all our doubts,
in all our worries?
are sinking we
and the world around us
cannot help?

are we truly alone
with no one to hold us?

does anyone care?
do we even matter?

who needs a hell
if live is like this?

and thus,
the thoughts keep creeping in,
this sinking feeling,
the darkest abyss,
the emptiest house,
a darkness that grasps us
and never lets go

///

but this is the choice:
we can focus
on the darkness
or we can focus
on the spark of light
inside of us
harkening back
to eternity
and the hope
for meaning:

for we are sheep
and shepherd
at the same time:

the meaning we seek
is the meaning we give:
and our love
shall set us free
and the world
as well

// / //

instead of fear,
let in faith

instead of coldness,
love

instead of despair,
hope

instead of apathy,
life

instead of nothingness,
it all




III: IN PARADISVM  |  INTO PARADISE



In paradisum deducant te Angeli:
 
May the Angels lead you into paradise:
in tuo adventu suscipiant te Martyres,
 
At your arrival, Martyrs shall receive you,
et perducant te in civitatem sanctam Jerusalem.
 
and lead you into the Holy city of Jerusalem.
Chorus Angelorum te suscipiat,
 
A choir of Angels shall accompany you,
et cum Lazaro quondam paupere ęternam habeas requiem.
 
and with once poor Lazarus you shall have eternal rest.

(In Paradisum)



/

so let us then
at the end of it all
see the way
the light
the holiness
all around:

and let us turn sadness
into hope
depression
into determination
and fill the emptiness
with love

//

we've seen the path
we've seen the stories
we've seen the connections
throughout the ages,
reaching out
to that which is holy
inside of us
to that which is holy
around us all
to that which is holy
beyond us all:

///

thus may the dream
become a reality
may we find peace
may we find love
just as we've given it
in the here and now:
and also
in the hereafter

in saecula saeculorum:
world without end

Amen.





"We should understand well that all things are the works of the Great Spirit. We should know that He is within all things: the trees, the grasses, the rivers, the mountains, and all the four-legged animals, and the winged peoples; and even more important, we should understand that He is also above all these things and peoples. When we do understand all this deeply in our hearts, then we will fear, and love, and know the Great Spirit, and then we will be and act and live as He intends."

Heȟáka Sápa (Black Elk).
The sacred pipe : Black Elk's account of the seven rites of the Oglala Sioux. Norman: University of Oklahoma Press. xx.










December 31st, 2022 - December 31st, 2023

Image: Helix Nebula. Credit: NASA, NOAO, ESA, the Hubble Helix Nebula Team, M. Meixner (STScI), and T.A. Rector (NRAO).









Phil John Kneis:

योग (YOGA) - CONFLUENCES VIII:

שבעה   |   SHIVA
Corvallis, December 31th, 2022 - January 5, 2023 - P#801


sit I here at night
and sometimes throughout the day
thinking nothing in specific
and everything
at once:

this is
what death does:
it forces life back in
in its rawest, starkest manner:

for as I am sitting here
I am with life
and the one I am thinking of
is not anymore

that strangest state

solid becomes liquid becomes gas becomes plasma
and vice versa, conditions being different

life becomes death
but not the reverse
something new may be created of death
but the one that lived and died
will never return
as that:

so as I am sitting here
in moments of intellectualizing
while others are just filled with tears
I am astounded
I am confounded
I am undone
by what has happened
when life, once there, just went away

and so
I may despair
I may show more curiosity
about my own departure:
but then,
I see life
for what it is or can be:
this gift
unique
and to be treasured
for all too soon
it will just
be gone
forever

as I now continue my watch
while the other one's has ended,
I shall cherish
every moment:
for it may be the last






December 31st 2022 / April 4th, 2023









Phil John Kneis:

योग (YOGA) - CONFLUENCES IX:

FATHER
Corvallis, December 31st - January 5, 2022 - P#802



example
inspiration
connection
love
acceptance
emulation
duty
foreshadowing
forerunner
pathfinder
trailblazer
mission
determination
interrogation
correction
sacrifice
suffering
loss
irreplaceable
shock
sublimation
home
vacating
transfiguration
legacy
apotheosis
memory
obligation
endurance
rebellion
protection
command
responsibility
transmission
translation
testament
eternity
task
time
then
now
love






December 31st 2022 / April 4th, 2023









Phil John Kneis:

योग (YOGA) - CONFLUENCES X:

THE FINISHED LIFE
Corvallis, January 2nd - April 4th, 2023 - P#803


a life
will end
but will it be finished?

is a life
like a story
with beginning, middle, and end?

but a story
is told from the ending, the telos,
the meaning-giving end, its destination

what do you do
when a life
ended before such satisfying end?

or worse,
continued way beyond
its satisfaction, purpose?

when, just tell me,
when
is a life finished?

when
is it complete?
objectively?

It can be over
quickly
and suddenly
and cruelly
and painfully
and unexpectedly, traumatically,
curse-your-god-and-all-around-you-tragically,
never-you-know-where-to-find-meaning-again-depressingly,
your-life-is-now-empty-beyond-what-you-can-stand-in-agony
indeed, just that cruelly
a life can be over
without being finished

yet I now am finished
and we now are finished
those left behind
for all those years
in all those tears
we'll wander the world
inhabit a life
of lifelessness
wondering
what if
and why
and how

but

there are no rules
there is not purpose
except what we create
in our minds, hearts, and souls:

the dead are dead
their story is not
and it is up to us
to finish it
once they have had to step off the stage

their end, their commandment,
their end, their quiet testament,
their end, our duty
to honor them
to love them
to see it through
that their story
will end
in meaning, not nothingness,
purpose, not senselessness,
so that their story
can be finished
and a new one
shall begin






April 4th, 2023









Phil John Kneis:

योग (YOGA) - CONFLUENCES XI:

LIFE GOES ON
Corvallis, January 8th, 2023 - P#804


life goes on
through all the pain
through all the suffering
and loss

life goes on
through all the darkness
all the strife
obscenely so

in all our daily wanderings,
routines, procedures, days and nights,
don't wonder we
what all that's for
if everything
ends just in pain?

so many moments lost to loss:
but that's the price to pay for life:

for know we well
it's not forever,
and yet, we waste so much of it
to endless squabbles, pains we cause:

thus pain goes on
and death goes on
but so does life:

that's it, that's all, no comfort here
except a chance
to still enjoy
the fleeting moments that are there
to cherish but
and see and feel and hope
in spite of it all:

for time goes on
and life goes on
and if we can remember well
that die we will, and those around us,
then maybe,
just maybe,
that could be
encouragement
to live
and let live
in the briefest of moments
we have
in this life






January 8th / April 4th, 2023









Phil John Kneis:

योग (YOGA) - CONFLUENCES XII:

SOMEHOW, DEATH
Corvallis, January 20th, 2023 - P#805


somehow, death
questions the purpose of life:
if lost, it can be quite saddening
quite painful
quite unexpected

and yes, you will be lost for words
and poetry becomes prose
and you don't care about this suddenly

How are we
at all
to prepare?

How are we
at all
to live?

How can we go on after this?






January 20th / April 4th, 2023









Phil John Kneis:

योग (YOGA) - CONFLUENCES XIII:

MY TIME IS RUNNING OUT
Corvallis, February 22nd, 2023 - P#806


three score and ten
nowadays, allegedly more
four score? or five?
or sometime soon, six?
what if, what if, what if?

but what, if not?

this oddest feeling,
I cannot quite state it,
creeps it up on me:
of time running through my hands:
the hourglass is running out and quickly

and time,
my time
may be much less

with so much more to do:
what now?
what for?
and why?






February 22nd / April 4th, 2023









Phil John Kneis:

योग (YOGA) - CONFLUENCES XIV:

RUNNING ON EMPTY
Corvallis, March 26th, 2023 - P#807


here I sit
computer is ready
fingers positioned
keyboard waiting
the screen is empty
patiently
awaiting
my input

and as I am looking at the machine
it may just as well
be looking back at me:
wondering
at my empty stare
my failure to act
and to order it
to do my bidding:

and yet
I wonder:
and ask myself:
and think to myself:
and want to say:

nothing.
there's nothing.
that's all I can say,
that's all I can think,
that's all I can do:

I'm running on empty
biding my time
the blank screen
mirroring the blankening brain

that's it, I now think,
that's all,
for what is the point
in the end

shut off






March 26th / April 4th, 2023









Phil John Kneis:

योग (YOGA) - CONFLUENCES XV:

SONNET IX
AS I AWAIT THE FUTURE TO ARRIVE


Corvallis, April 11th, 2023 - P#808



as I await the future to arrive
I'm looking for some signs to help me see
I feel like there's a lock that needs a key
from which the path ahead I could derive

I know, deep down, that all this is in vain
I do see patterns, clear, both bright and dark
yet certainty is known to miss the mark
as probability's the only game

and so I hope, I wonder and I strive
as look in horror I as things seem bleak
am struggling I with what I'd have to say

now, as I look at this my briefest life
I realize that what I have to seek
will be revealed to me along the way






April 11th/18th, 2023









Phil John Kneis:

योग (YOGA) - CONFLUENCES XVI:

SONNET X
ABANDON ALL HOPE NOW AS SANITY'S FLEETING


Corvallis, April 23th, 2023 - P#809



abandon all hope now as sanity's fleeting
all notions of sense are but all disappearing
and wonder we just 'bout where all this is steering -
to surely where in the inferno we're meeting?

so sit I here, pondering how much to tremble
as heard I've before all the talk 'bout an ending -
despite all Cassandr'ing the world is still standing
as hurt we've all been but we must reassemble

what ever we've lost we must keep in our hearts now
what ever we've seen we must keep in our minds now
what ever we've don we must save all our souls now

abandon all hope? Never let this define us
descend we to hell, yet our hope will come with us
to help us ascend once we've spread it to others






April 23rd / May 16th, 2023









Phil John Kneis:

योग (YOGA) - CONFLUENCES XVII:

A VICTIM OF MY MUSE I AM
Corvallis, April 23rd, 2023 - P#810


a victim of my muse I am
just as I try to lay me down
to sleep, to rest, to dream, alas,
my muse keeps stirring in my mind
to move the pen, to move the soul
just one more time before the night

I shall abide, what choice is there?
my sleep won't come
till I will cede -
she'll torture, push and agitate -
oh well, so what, whatever then -
a slave I am to her designs,
but it's alright:

for willingly I do submit
I'll let her ride my mind tonight
tomorrow, maybe,
rest shall come






April 23rd / May 16th, 2023









Phil John Kneis:

योग (YOGA) - CONFLUENCES XVIII:

THE WORST KIND OF ANIMAL
West Glacier, May 12th, 2023 - P#811


/

the poem comes out at night
whether the poet likes it or not

connections are made
others destroyed
this cruelest game
when the muse

holds the writer
in its thrall:

the sense here appearing
is removed from most thinking
beholden to feeling
to primal
original
deepest
darkest truths

in which
it may become clear
what this poet is thinking
or, at least, what the poet is not hiding as well:

//

locusts like we've degraded the world
in all our impotent stark blustering
have we abdicated any and all
responsibility
for this mess:
this chimpanzee, their third evolution,
much starker, more naked, much darker, less sacred
a life, taken by them:
the worst of the animals we are
betrayers of our kind
slaughterers of our kindred
make we the planet
uninhabitable for all:

oh, what fucking piece of fucking work is fucking man
fuck you, you warmongers,
fuck you, you apologists for worst any crime,
fuck you, complacent ones, seeing a crisis as an amusement,
fuck you, us all, unable, too cerebral, too classy, too timid
to talk about this

without our muse
and some additional help

///

and damned be, damned be to hell we
should we fail
to write, to speak, to act, to rule
when deeply needed

woe to us
if art remains art
and life remains life:
for the two need to mix
for everything
is political

// //

so do it then, act
as if there was no tomorrow:
for there may well be no tomorrow
if silent and complacent we stay






May12th/16th, 2023









Phil John Kneis:

योग (YOGA) - CONFLUENCES XIX:

LIFE IS A WAKE
Corvallis, August 8th, 2023 - P#813


my calendar
just reminded me
of a birthday
of a dear relative:
the name popped up
the alert was set some time ago
typically, I'd call
reconnect
at this happy recurrence:
yet the human behind the contact
is gone
is dead
can't call them no more:

and so it goes
and year by year
my phone is growing a graveyard
becoming a monument
to contacts past
to people past
to times past
to my own past
to my own present
getting lonelier year by year

life
is death
and all I have
is a memory
and a reminder
a cold, technological reminder
of yet another relative or friend
that's gone forever

I can't even cry
I've cried so much already:
after so much loss,
can I still feel?
and has this here, my life,
become nothing else
but a long drawn-out wake?






August 8th/21st, 2023









Phil John Kneis:

योग (YOGA) - CONFLUENCES XX:

I NEEDED TO ASK THE BARD
ABOUT THE FINALITY OF DEATH
Corvallis, August 30th, 2023 - P#814


now
would be the time
in the middle of the night

to call my friend
some time zones
away

this would be the time
this would be the place
this would be the ritual:

and yet
it is
impossible

dictated by death
the connection was severed
and my night remains empty

they "should have died hereafter;
There would have been a time for such a word.
- To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow"

I needed to ask the Bard
as I'm all out of tears
and numb and in shock,

still

the finality of death
has not been unknown to me:
and I thought I had learnt its lesson:
to value life, and cherished ones, in life:
so death comes less with guilt and regret
and yet, a second lesson, much bleaker, appeared,
unbeknownst, like an assassin in the night:
death is not just nothingness, not simply loss;
instead, it's quite an amputation:
for a part of my life is lost,
a part of me myself is lost:
and can never be regained

so when I now
try to call,
somebody else may answer

for now

for day by day,
and night by night,
my dearest William, if I may, again:
"Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death."

we may but scream,
in deepest, dark exasperation:
"Out, out, brief candle!"
as we're forced
to still remain
a walking shadow of ourselves

"Life's but a walking shadow,
It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury
Signifying nothing."

and, left behind,
I signify
even less:

for now
used to be the time
to connect with life:

instead, commune I now
with death herself
and feel her loving, gruesome embrace,
whispering:
"soon"






August 30th, 2023